OK, this is my first time ever doing something like this, but I dont know what else to do. My story is long. Hopefully someone can help me out!
My husband and I were basically pressured into getting married from his parents because we got pregnant (which we had only been dating 2 months, and then after we were married we lost the baby) So then here we were 21 and 22 and married for no other reason, but because I had gotten prego, and now there was going to be no baby. So we have had a very up and down marriage and mostlty down. My husband is a police officer, and has a very short temper. I do not respond well to yelling and all that jazz. we have been married almost 4 years now,have had a son (on one of our up times) he is 2, and we just cant seem to make each other happy. It basically boils down to the fact that we do not make time for each other..mainly on my part. I just went back to work 8-5 and my husband works 10pm-6am, so there is not much time for us to be alone. My husband has become very jealous of our son. And my problem is that I have no desire for my husband. When I kiss him it is like kissing a wall. I feel nothing on my end. He loves it and has fireworks. I never want to have sex with him, and when we do I hate it. I would be fine to never have sex or kiss him again, but of course this will not work. We have been so close to a divorce so many times, but we try to work it out, but it always falls back to the same thing. Me and my lack of desire for my husband. If I knew how to flip a switch and make it to where i would want him that way, I would do it in a second. I dont even know why I dont want him. Sometimes I think its because of his temper. (but he is not mean all the time, just when we dont have sex...which is alot I guess) He even told me recently that he has cheated on me on 3 different ocaisions (sex with 2 of them) when I was pregnant with our son.I can understand that he wants affection from me, but I dont know how to get it to turn on!?!? Should we just end it and try to be happy with someone else, or ....or what do I do???? Please help me! I love him...but I really cant answer if I am IN LOVE with him.
