Here it goes married a woman single mom when I meet her with a 2yr old girl. Fell in love with both of them.
She was in the military I was getting out to go to school.
Did not want to let this one go the love of my life type deal.
Married adopted her daughter had a son went to school for my degree worked at night full time.
All was great years go by now she wanted to be a officer in the military I said no problem I suppourt you all the way dropped out of school told her I could wait a year to finish wile she worked on her career.
Had another child she became a officer I had a good job all was good. Sex was great she said I asked her how she felt about us she said we are doing great.
A month after our 7th wedding aniversery she says that I need to take a few months off from the family and get away by myself. She needed time to think she said I just feel broken inside and like a light switch it was down hill from there.
It gets crazy with in 3 months of her telling me to get lost and me trying to ask her why what did I do with no real reason. She has gotten a tummy tuck ran up her credit card to 10K and I was going crazy.
6months later she has transfered to 1500 miles away wrecked the Escalade I bought her now has a credit card of 20K and lets just say the tummy tuck that she did not need in my opinion 6 months later is not worth the 7K loan she took out.
Even with all of this I still want her back and think she was going through something that she herself will not get help for. I love her and my children and only want the family that I had. I ask her what happened to the woman who loved me so much and wrote me letters and told me what a great man I was to her. She said last weekend that person is not around anymore. I just fell out of love with you and do not feel those butterflies like I use to for you.
Now my 3yr old 6 yr old and 10 yr old have to pay the price for what?
Even her own mother thinks that she is crazy and did not understand why her daughter did this.
I can not move on even though I should she took everything that we had built in 8 yrs and destroyed it in 8 months Why
Now the credit card is 20K the Escalade I bought her is wrecked and she is still spending herself to where I do not know. ANY HINTS
CLUELESS HERE

Did your ex wife ever come back to you? single choice

yes (0%, 0 Votes)

no (0%, 0 Votes)

No Votes Yet Voting on this poll ends: 06/25/07 05:54 PM

How (why) did her first marriage end? Or was she never married and just had the child?

Hint - find out who the guy is for whom she feels the butterflies these days.

AGG

Hello Jonathon, welcome to Marriage Builders.

Everything that you described about your W is typical for wayward wife syndrome.

Immediately secure your assets and protect yourself from any further financial decline.

Who are the kids living with?

Is she still in the military?

Is there another man in her life that you know about? There is no doubt in my mind that there is one, you just have to figure out who it is.

Now that she is 1500 miles away and acting like a total looser do you still want her back? This is an important decision that you can't be on the fence about if you are going to effectively fight for your M.

Any more details could be helpful.

And yes, people fight for and win their families back all the time using MB philosophy. But it's not easy, and there are no guarantees.

Her living 1500 miles away is going to prove to be very difficult to do a plan A.

Best regards,

No she had a child with a married man that was seperated at the time so she said. He was like 15 years older then her and never supported the child at all.

Were you single or divorced (not separated) when you met your wife?

We were both single never married I never dated alot because I did not like to use woman. I was taught to respect woman. We even dated along time before I even kissed her. She made the first move in the bedroom. That is something even now after the divorce she says I did right. But she said she needs more that there was other things missing after the years went by. She did not feel the same about me that she did when we first meet. I said that is called being married it has ups and downs and feelings get pulled apart when you are thinking of the children and a career and you do not spend quality time with your mate.

I'll keep this short and sweet.

On this site, read this article about The Love Bank, this article about Emotional Needs and this article about Love Busters. This may begin to explain what's happening.

I believe your W's lovebank is empty...that you did not meet her EN's and probably added a few LB's as well and her lovebank is empty. Add to that, I suspect that she has found someone else who is willing to fill her lovebank by meeting her EN's and you'll have a clue about what I think is happening.

My advice to you, tonight, is READ. Read the links I gave you and anything else on "Basic Concepts." Then come back tomorrow and ask any questions you have.



--CJ

Yes I feel that you are correct in your assesment and the links you provided. I know what I did wrong and asked many times for us to work on things. I did not say the things to her that I use to say to make her feel good. She was away with her job and the children and it made her feel like a bad mother. She lied to me and became selfish of her own needs all the wile I did my best to tell her I was here for her and to just tell me what was going on. Even after 6 months I told her that I forgave her and just wanted a chance to be the man that she fell in love with. She said that the person I once knew "her" was not there anymore and that she needed this in her life. Everything that she has said and done is borderline crazy. I can't think of any woman who wants to raise 3 children wile in the military by herself. Unless she is getting beat and raped and abused in the relationship. I have tried logic I have tried emotion I have asked her to just talk and she will not do any of these things. She tells me that I thought she was a bad mother when I never said anything of the kind she has made it up in her mind. I even told her that she did not beleive me. I even asked her when and what did I say, she just said you implied it.
My question is how do I get a account with the new bank of ANN and start makeing deposits.
If it was another man he is now still in TX and she is in OH. She has told me that it was always between the two of us but even her mother thinks as some due on this board. I did see a email with her and this married guy that she worked with. When I did ask her about it she said that she did have feelings for him because he told her the things that I had stoped saying. She knew it would not go anywhere because he was married and had been for a long time. When I confonted him about it he said that the email was just harmless and she was talking to him as a friend and needed a shoulder to cry on after she kicked me out of my life.
I just dont know what to say to her. I have tried to be nice and tried to ignore her but nothing worked.
Everything was great now I have nothing to look forward to she and the childen where my greatest work and I though it would give me a lifetime of satisfation not depression.

Find another wife.

If you want to keep your current wife, you can't open a new account. You keep the old account and pay off the debt plus interest.

I keep makeing deposits and my statement still says insufficent funds. I say I am sorry I tell her that we can make things better that I love her and the children. That I never wanted this to happen. To open up to me and tell me why. Still no real closure. I can not keep this account open it is drainning my soul. I do not want to close my account I was a loyal customer for years why can I not get her to see this. Even with what she has done and the money she has racked up why do I still feel for her?