I've been thinking about practical ways in which abused spouses can help themselves. If anybody has some more ideas, please contribute!<P>1. Memorize phone numbers of agencies and shelters that can help you.<P>2. Line up a support system---relatives, friends, neighbors, church--ANYBODY who will help you if and when you need it.<P>3. Hide a pocket-sized voice-activated tape recorder in your house. Hide it where an abusive spouse would never think to look.<BR>A good idea is to make a fabric pocket to hold it and thumbtack the pocket underneath a table, sofa, etc. You can then slip the recorder in and out very easily to change batteries, if you don't have a good hiding place where you can plug it into an outlet.<BR>Don't worry about retrieving it if you have to leave suddenly. You can get it later.<P>4. Also, have a camera loaded with film so that you can take pictures of bruises, cuts, etc. if need be. A good way to prove the date of injury would be to hold the day's newspaper in front of you so that the day's date can be seen.<P>5. Have extra sets of your car and house keys made. Hide one set inside your car, another set somewhere outside your house, and have a trusted ally keep another set for you.<P>6. Stash extra cash/credit cards in a safe hiding place or with a trusted ally, too. It might be a good idea to get your own credit cards if you don't already have some. If you're using a joint account with your spouse, stash your card somewhere. If you have to get out, max it out with cash ASAP--before your spouse can cancel it. Do not use the card to rent a car, hotel room, or to buy a plane, train, or bus ticket. Your spouse would be able to trace you that way.<P>7. Make copies of important papers and documents--like your children's birth certificates, deeds, bank account statements, etc. Put your children's birth certificates in a safe deposit box that your spouse doesn't know about or entrust them to a trusted ally.<P>8. Also, stash extra clothing with the trusted ally. It might also be a good idea to include wigs, etc. to disguise yourself and/or your children.<P>9. I'm not sure about this, but I believe that even an inactivated cellphone can still be used to call 911, as long as the batteries are kept charged. I think that there are programs with some police departments where a stalking/abuse victim is provided with a deactivated cellphone so they can call 911 for help. Check with your local abuse shelter or police department for information.<P>Any more ideas out there?<BR>

check out <A HREF="http://www.drirene.com" TARGET=_blank>www.drirene.com</A> a website for bith abusers and victims of abuse. there is help for both

Very good Sweetpea.

The average woman goes back to her situation 7-8 times after leaving.<P>probally out of lonliness and of course love.<BR>Love doesn't die easily even when there abuse.<BR>Just think of all the children who love their parents who abuse them.<P>The lonliness is a b****.<P> It was the last straw that my heart could bear. That is when I succumbed to the affection of an old friend from school and the dreaded affair.<P>Please be weary of the lonliness.<P>Stay around same sex or married friends (who are alway's together) or family.<P>A wonderful book to read that everyone should read is " The gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker a leader in the field of victims and crimes. It is a Important book.<BR>

The Gift of Fear is the BEST BOOK OF ITS KIND...<P>trusted ally (a woman, not a man) is very important too... possibly a packed suitcase at her house with the essentials in case you have to leave in a hurry...<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Bringing back up to top for those who might need it.