I have been married going on 7 years this July. For the first 3 years we had a great marriage, then we had our son, what a wonderful day. He is now about to turn 4 years old, and our marriage has been nothing since then. He sleeps in our bed, since his birth I have been relocated to the couch. I have tried countless efforts to get back into the bed, and remove my son but it turns into WWIII. My wife and I have made love 3X in the last 4 years and nothing in the past 18 months. Its to the point where I can no longer take it. We have tried marriage counseling and everything is my fault not hers. She even said she will not remove our son from our bed till he starts school, regardless of counselor and pediatrician.

I feel stuck in a love less marriage, we fight and argue better than anything else. I find myself working 70+ hours a week just to stay away from home. I am at the point now where I would like to see what happiness is. I have really tried the love bank for extended months and nothing comes from it, I listen to her needs and and try to change myself, and still nothing. When is enough, enough and my desire to be happy in a relationship vs. fighting to keep one? I just feel that my wife really can't stand me, but since she has the "ideal" life in terms of her family, (She makes our life and marriage seem so fantastic to others.)She has the ability to stay at home, have her dream hom, dream car, and has anything she wants, however the one thing I want more than anything is a happy, fun relationship and sex would be nice here and there. I think I have finally come to the realization that it wouldn't happen with us, I just can't be unhappy anymore.

Welcome!

You say you've tried the love bank. I assume you mean you've stopped all lovebusters, and that fighting is a thing of the past. If you've done your best to meet her needs without commiting any lovebusters, you may consider Plan B.

Plan B is found in the Infidelity section. It can be highly effective in getting a spouse to stop a behavior. In my personal experience, it was not effective in getting a spouse to start a behavior.

Before moving to Plan B, you may try some other tactics. If you've only tried on Marriage counselor, I'd find another one, and try again. You may also want to go to individual counseling. Sometimes it helps to have someone who offers you insight into your own behaivor, but is an advocate for you.

Just someone who can say "Having a 4 year old in the bed every night is not normal in our society" can be reassuring.