I will never forget the quarrel between my parents when I was in first grade. I was sitting in my pajamas, listening to them argue-I can't even remember what it was about. And I remember thinking, Are Mom and Dad going to get a divorce? Now, this was back in the early 1950s, when divorce was rare; it was hardly even talked about back then.

If I had that fear at that age, what must the average first grader today feel? Kids today are surrounded by divorce.

The greatest gift you can give your children is a sacred commitment to one another. You must keep your marriage relationship a priority. Your kids need your devotion to each other more than they need your devotion to them.

A woman once wrote me to tell about the changes she had seen in her marriage after attending a FamilyLife Marriage Conference. She and her husband had been divorced three years when they went. "I really did not want to go," she wrote. "As far as I was concerned, our relationship was dead. The conference changed our lives. As we listened to what the Bible said about marriage, the roles of husband and wife, we realized we had done it all wrong. As a result of the conference, we decided to start dating again. Four months later, we were remarried."

She concluded, "Our remarriage is a dream come true for our six-year-old son. He can hardly believe that the thing he wanted most has really happened. His mommy and daddy are together again."

Few things can harden the heart of a child more than the divorce of his or parents. Your kids need a mom and dad who are committed to each other.



Discuss: How much time do you spend with your mate on a daily and weekly basis? When was the last time you did something to cultivate your relationship?

Pray: Ask God to preserve your legacy by protecting your marriage. Ask Him for His favor on your marriage.

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Excerpted from "Moments Together for Couples" by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

FamlyLife

Thanks for posting this. I'm trying hard to earn my husband back... we're divorced. I filed, I asked him to go - it wasn't infidelity, but a combination of other things (although he had a long EA during our M).

I don't know if his heart will change and he will feel love for me again - I know he still cares, because he demonstrates that, but currently he's involved with someone (long-distance now - she left him to move home after a year of living together, and they are still 'connected'). I too, had a relationship after my H and I split up, and I never thought I'd be in love with my XH again - but I am.

Time will tell if the changes I've made and am making in myself will show him that I still love him and if our marriage can be rebuilt, but I'm taking the time and doing the work. It's up to him after that. I've seen many positive changes in him, and that could be why my heart has turned back to him - in fact I know it has. I never stopped loving him, but I couldn't love who he had become during the last days of our marriage. The man I married has resurfaced again, but not quite completely.

I'm praying that God touches his heart and shows him the same path He has shown me, and that the path leads him back home to us. The rest is in God's hands, and my XH's hands.

I've been praying for encouragement, as I'm feeling a bit discouraged at the moment - but your post was very timely, and it spoke to me. Thank you.

JinGA

I was reflecting on your post and had a thought that I was hoping you (or anyone with direct knowledge of the FWH mind)
could respond to.

What the heck is WH feeling in regard to his role as a father? He’s in the middle of a 10-day trip with the boys, and I just wondered: what on earth goes through his head?

Does it ever occur to him that he’s missing out on their lives? Or does he feel like this is enough? That the every other weekend, one night per week arrangement is sufficient? Does he not consider the lessons that he is teaching them about honesty, commitment, responsibility?

I can see how he could rationalize and justify what he is doing to me…I was a terrible wife who was just totally incompatible with him and he found someone with whom he could have this synergistic, soulmate, meant-to-be relationship with the woman that God clearly created just for him.

LG knew right away that the price his son would pay was too high, and left OW at d-day. But what about those who don’t leave…who embrace the “new life,” do they give this ANY thought? Do they even consider the price the kids are paying, and if so, how can they possibly live with it?

And many DO live with it…more than we like to admit…