My husband and I are staying together after i found out that he may have gotten the OW pregnant...Does anyone have any suggestions about the steps we should be taking...The OW is crazy and this isn't going to be easy...but and advice would help

Read everything here.

(((SNR)))

SNR,

Looking at your sig lines, I would say you have had one HE!! of a year.

There is a lot of advice that can be given, but it would help many of us if we had a better idea of where you are at.

With having 124 posts, I suspect you know many of DR H's principles. I also see that it has only been four days since the bomb got dropped on you.

Here are a few questions that may help get things started:

Does your H blame you for any of this? IE.. Is he in the FOG?

You said OW is crazy, is she still trying to maintain contact with your H?

If she is, how does your H respond?

BTW, there are many here who can provide lots of good advice based on their experience.

TH

I am so very sorry. {{{hugs}}} for you and your COM. I wish I had found this site in your time frame. First, you need to remember the basic MB pricipals. Obviously the affair is still on going. If you are going to stick it out, then you start with the MB principals. NC, NC, NC. Any contact between WH and OW must take place through your attorney. You might want to consider a separation for financial purposes and file for CS for your COM right NOW!!!! If she proves through DNA that the child (if she is pregnant) is WH's then she will file for CS. If she files before you do, they will award her child more rights and money than the COM. I found out to late. They award double the financial need to her child as they did to our COM. Stop all contact. Only contact needed right now is through attorney's. He is not the father until DNA proves it. Use the time between now and then to rebuild your M. After the DNA proves the OC is WH, then you can deal with the contact or no contact. If you choose contact you can do it with NC between the OW/WH. If she's crazy then you are stuck with her in your lives, and your COM's lives forever. If NC with OC then you still owe CS and have all necessary information go through the attorney's.

Would she give OC up for adoption? Could you handle adopting? there are many, many options and decisions to make. First, NC until after the OC is born except through attorney, protect your COM, work on your M.

Best Wishes {{{snr419}

FTS

snr, welcome back though I am sorry that you are now dealing with a potential OC situation. Is your H ready to go NC yet? Do not worry about the OC situation until the child is born and DNA is done. I too went through multiple false recoveries and it gets more painful with each one.

(((SNR))) I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I don't read everything on MB anymore and I have hardly ever read here in this forum. I came today to post to faithfulfollower and saw your name.

Honey, I am so sorry. I feel rather attached to you since I have posted to you since you came here. Can you give us some more details?

Is your H wanting to work on the marriage?

I know I don't have experience with the OC situation, but I'll be here for you all the way. As I said I am rather attached to you.

I'll be praying for you.

SNR,

My thinking is that if the OW is crazy, then you should think about protecting yourselves. Do you think she is capable of doing bodily harm to herself or to others? What have you and your H talked about re: CS for the STBOC? The OW may not stop at asking for money or support.

It's probably a good idea to think about getting a Paternity Test when the kid comes out...what's the probability that it is your H's?