My husband and I are staying together after i found out that he may have gotten the OW pregnant...Does anyone have any suggestions about the steps we should be taking...The OW is crazy and this isn't going to be easy...but and advice would help

The best thing to do is to go get legal advice. Do not do anything that demonstrates repsonsibility until it is proven to be your H's child through a valid DNA test. So, no giving her money, going to appointments, or any type of support. If she calls, give her your attorney's number and let him/her handle it.

Assuming the results are positive, it's usually best to let the courts handle it.

Mys

"A woman is like a teabag; you never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water."

Great quote! Don't trust OW, DNA is a must in these cases. Seek legal counsel, you WILL need it.

Remember, SNR, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

People AND marriages can survive this.

I did not know that in the beginning of my ordeal.

I want everyone to know that.

Call Steve or get a good MC who has dealt with OC and A issues.

Get legal advise immediately and yes....do NOT promise or exchange anything. Do NOT even e-mail....if the ow is wacko, she can change your e-mails or even taped calls and use it against you.

Work only through a lawyer. The OW will try to take away your identity and your life.

In CA, if there is an OC the laws may state that your family may have to foot the medical bills. I carried the medical coverage in our family (he was self-employed), when I found out that I may have to cover OW's pre-natal care, etc.... I demanded proof of prego. Let your lawyer do that.... Ow was blowing smoke.... she claimed 3 false preggos.

So if you are dealing with a nut case...remove yourself from the pix.

There is a child/pregnancy board here @ MB. Check it out.

take care,
L.

SNR, I just posted to you in the other forum, too.

Dealan-De is in TX, so she'll know the legal stuff you might need to know for TX.

I'm praying for you, honey. I am so so sorry.

I know he has said in the past it was over, but we can tell it was not. So, what is he doing now to prove that is over? Open and honest? Allowing you to verify his whereabouts,etc?

If you are not certain it is stopped, are you ready to do a major stick of plan a and then move into plan B?

don't count on the OW actually being pregnant. If she is, I would say speak to your family first, the Harley's second and decide how you want to proceed. Personally I would divorce...but there are examples of people here that have recovered from this situation. Realize that this nut job... if she is one and not just painted that way by your H...will be a part of your life on some level for the next 18 years or so.
Frankly, that would be enough for me to call it quits. If you decide to stay for the sake of your children and marriage, you have my respect for undertaking such a daunting task. Infidelity is tough enough without the added emotional and financial stress that this situation will bring to your collective lives.

Good luck,

MEDC

i don't know what to do anymore...some days he wants to save the marriage and then the next day he says he doesn't love me anymore and he isn't going to try...as far as verifying his where abouts he did that before and still managed to find ways around it...he has been very emotinally abusive and i have sent my kids to stay with my parents while i figure out what to do...i just feel like i don't know him anymore...and he still isn't putting the well being of this family first...he can't even take care of this family and now he expects another child to be a part of it...he still isn't thinking clearly...and as for the OW i know she is crazy...she has shown it...not to mention she was my friend for 10 years before this happened...and i honestly believe she did this on purpose...i just don't know what to do...i told go be with her and have a family...and just leave me and the kids alone...and he is still here...so i don't know what he wants...i just want a stable life for my kids...and they haven't had that in the past year and a half...thanks to this mess

bump

So he went from being a sane person to not even knowing which way is up? Hm.... remind him of his progress in life. He is now a sad and confused man. Instead of wanting to help him you s/b mad at him.

He is confused because the A is a good thing? Because the OW is possibly preggo with whose child? After all she already proved she has no scruples. It is very possible she isn't preggo or it isn't his.

When my WS was going through this I threw him to the dogs. Told him he'd better make sure that choice doesn't affect our family. I refused to help him help her.

What have you done to protect your financial assets?

L.