Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 3
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 3 |
I keep thinking I should feel something besides...Sorry for them--my husband and his lover. I just feel sorry for them. I hate that they felt a need to do this and that they are hurting.
True happiness is something that neither men nor events can take from you. You will find it in Faith, in Hope and in Charity. ~ St. Elizabeth Feodorovna
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 387
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 387 |
I felt sorry too. Yes, I am ticked... but I feel more sad for my WH.
He has ruined his life. And, for what?
FBS - 28
Status: Divorced (thankfully)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,620
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,620 |
What's your entire story?
Also, yes, I think pity is more of an appropriate response than sorry.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 697
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 697 |
Feodorovna, what is your story is it posted somewhere's
Beware that feeing sorry is part of the process, so is anger and resentment. You need to be prepared for the flows, the ups and downs of the whole process
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I keep thinking I should feel something besides...Sorry for them--my husband and his lover. I just feel sorry for them. I hate that they felt a need to do this and that they are hurting. Thats an odd reaction. Do you feel anything for their victims? Usually, one feels pity for the victim, not the perpetrator. Adultery is the absolute worst thing that can happen to someeone. Dr. Harley says it is worse than rape or the death of a child. When a woman is raped would you normally feel "sorry" for her rapist?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
p.s. anger is usually a normal, healthy, therapeutic phase of the grief cycles in recovery. You may not feel anger now, but possibly will when you get further along in recovery. Some victims of adultery are in such shock for the first few months that they don't reach the anger phase until month 7-10.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
691
guests, and
107
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,042
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
