Mark,
Yesterday in counseling, our MC said something to the effect that we should be grateful for this crisis because it has changed us both, not the least of which has been our new found Christianity.
During A time, we had started going to a Unity Church (uggh, I know, but it was our beginning). Anyway, I will never forget Mr. Rlt telling me that "God" was telling him to leave us. Thank God, literally, that he has turned 180 degrees from that nonsense, and now truly believes that Satan had his hand the whole time.
The affair, for us, has been a double-edged sword. In one way, horrific, and in another way, a very strange blessing. I just wish God would have found a different way, but that's wasn't my choice.
Re, the spiritual journey: I quickly found Unity to be (I'll be nice here) not for us. We then went to Catholic Church for awhile (church of origin for both of us). Then we happened upon a bible church, and have been going there ever since.
Knitgirl,
I found MB about six weeks after finding out about the A. Prior to that I had been doing a Plan A without even knowing it, I believe. Mr. RLT put us into something of a Plan B with his trip to FL.
When he came home, I tried to Plan A, but admittedly, did sort of a half a$$ job of it. Seven months later, he left for three days. But what changed in that short time was my attitude. I let him go. I put him in God's hands. He came back three days later, literally transformed. We still have ups and downs, of course. We both have nasty patterns that we have developed in our 25 plus years together. He still sometimes falls back into old entitlements (FOO issues). But all in all, he's working on it everyday, and so am I.
So, about seven months of Plan A, a very short Plan B. Hope that helps you.
