I have been legally divorced from my wife for about 6 months but we have been apart for 21 months. I have met some people but never really found anyone that I felt I was compatible with. About 2 1/2 months ago, I met someone on the internet and we just started chatting online. We chatted for about 1 1/2 months 4-5 times a week online. We never spoke on the phone and had never met. One Saturday night we were chatting and I asked her if she wanted to go to dinner and she accepted. We went out and had dinner and talked at the restaurant for about 4 hours. That was about 3 weeks ago. We spend more time talking on the phone now and went she went away on vacation, she called me everyday. We have been out about once a week since then and we talk about what we want in the future from out partners and we have a lot of similar itmes on our list. The question I have is when is it time to bring up the next step in a relationship (being exclusive)? Do I just wait things out for a while and see what happens? She told me that she would never make the first move in something like that so it would be all up to me. I would like to go to the next level, but I would hate to ruin a good friendship if that is all that it is ever going to be, but I would hate to lose her to someone else if the possability exists for more. Any help you could give would be appreciated. If you have any questions, just ask. Thanks.

Spend more time, face to face, getting to know her. This relationship is still very new, enjoy this newness and all the fun associated with that. I'd let things ride for several months while you get to know her in person then consider taking the next step.

First, I'd try to see her more than once a week. Try for a mid-week date or start asking for Friday and Saturday nights.

what do you consider as the next step?

just wondering

wiftty

Wiftty, by the next level I am talking about dating each other exclusively and all of the things that go along with it.

I think you are rushing. Divorced for 6 months. Separated less than 2 years. Met this person online just over 2 months ago. Met her in person 3 weeks ago. Want to be exclusive.......

I see rebound relationship ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!!

hmmm... I don't know about rebound but I would still take it nice and easy. Let her know how much you enjoy her company and look for more things to do with her. It sounds like she wants to be a lady and/or is worried about making a mistake herself in the relationship.

Whatever you do, don't come on too strong. Let the relationship flow naturally. I'm assuming, you are talking about the next level including "sex"? If that's the case, I encourage you to wait until there is a real connection between you both before going that far. Sometimes, sex takes away from the magic of a new relationship. When the relationship has had a chance to mature, it can add a wonderful and exciting dimension to it.

Just my thoughts.
Loni

ah, reads pretty nebulous to me. . . reads like you have never put a plan together, such as a personal plan. . .

why don't you try again, and be specific about what the next level is from your point of view. . .

wiftty

I am not sure about the rebound either, but anything is possible I guess. I had a "relationship" about 6 months ago that I considered a rebound. It was more or less just grabbing at the first person that came along so that I wasn't alone anymore. As for this friendship, it has started to go downhill quite quickly over the last few days. But to answer the few questions that were asked, by taking it to the next level, I was referring to this. Spending more than 1 night a week together, going out and holding hands or me putting my arm around her, kissing when we left each other. I was referring to things like that. I was not referring to sex as I think that is something that comes along later in a relationship and isn't something that you just do because you are a couple. Anyway, it looks like it really isn't going to matter with this person, but maybe if any of you have some tips for future relationships, I would love to hear any suggestions you might have. Thanks.

dexterdogg,

I'm assuming you two are in the same city or relatively close to one another (i.e., you are not FLYING to meet her every weekend). If that's the case, rather than suggesting "exclusivity" why don't you tell her you like to add a mid-week date, and ask for her permission to hold her hand. Then, on the next weekend date, ask for her permission to kiss her goodbye. See what I mean? It's not "exclusivity" but rather a more serious level of dating.


CJ