wow...you all suggested exposure so I went with that.
I tracked the OW down, she's in jail cuz she took a bat to her ex once he smacked her around for fooling around with husband so she says. She had written him a ltter stating "can't wait to start our lives together"...I confronted him. He tells me he's never told her that and he hasn't seen her but at the saem time feels responsible for her being there and might want to get a lawyer!! No flippin way.
Anyway--I tracked her family down, called (skipped the writting cuz I was upset), and got her sister in law who tells me that this 38yr old woman has been this way since she was 15 and her family has given up on her.

So this exposure has only made me feel worse. Husband is going through midlife crisis, I'm trying to be supportive told him what he's meant to me, how we can work on us, how he should come home, but he tells me he's empty, hollow and feels no self worth and I can do better.

It's so hard to try to rebuild yourslf when you feel the same. I've been through ****** this morning, my 22yr old son sees me but at a loss. I tell him is dad is a good man, he's just totally messed up right now.

I'll give him time and hopefully I will be stronger by then also. I know people live survive this...this is my 2nd marriage, first one cheated too and left me. Life just isn't fair.

She sounds like a loser. Be sure to expose to her employer, even if you think it won't help. Let them know that you are trying to save your marriage, and ask what they plan to do with their secretary who is poaching on the married truckers.

Have you exposed to your son?

Let your H know that his help for her isn't help. It is enabling and she will suck the life out of him and the family in the process. Let him know that you must insist that the family not be put in harms way for this OW. If he wants to help her, he must relinquish all family finances completely, sign agreements to ensure the family will be financially safe, then he can go put his life in jeopardy.

Ow's family has tried and is worn out. OW went to the next sucker and your H had it tattooed on his forehead. Ask him if that is how he wants to be remembered.

L.

thanks for the info..

Are you working on doing things to build your self esteem? Most of us had our self esteem in the toilet upon finding out our life partner was cheating.

The affair always ends, so you should be hopeful. It is good that her boyfriend knows. Hang in there for the next chapter.