Thanks, FH...I will read that tonight...

Hi GHA,

How are things going?

KM

KM,
Things seem to be turning in my direction, JIC you haven't read earlier posts...I am doing good...Praying a lot and getting closer to the Lord...I am beginning to not be consumed by the A too much anymore...The hurt is "subsiding", but know that it will come up when we start MC when I get home in LESS THAN 50 DAYS!!! YAY!!! Can't wait to get home...Can you tell? Anyway, just keeping my head into my work over here and going to try and enjoy my last month and a half in this country...it is strange that the people I work with I won't ever see again...Not used to that...I am grateful to have this website to turn to (the Lord first as you know), because you guys have taught me a bunch and it has helped me a ton...Enough about me...How are you doing, KM???

GHA,

I'm so glad you're taking care of yourself and trying to enjoy your last days over there... I haven't seen you're other posts, so I'm glad that things aren't consuming you as terribly anymore. I just hope you continue to enjoy your work, your friends over there, and growing and learning with God and through MB. I worry about the reaction your W gets out of you, when you are so far away and can't properly address the issue. I hope you can take a mini "vacation" from all of this A business and focus on work, friends, kids, and doing things that make you happy. The more you focus on yourself right now, the better it will be for both you and your M. It will also make you more attractive to your W. My H made it very clear that he wanted to work on our M, but he also had his own life and I wasn't going to ruin it for him. This was very powerful to me and even when I was at my WW worst I knew he was stronger, wiser and more independent than me (AND om) and this made him very attractive to me (even though on the outside I was a crabby, mean SOB to him.) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

My H thought my relationship with OM was "ridiculous", "meaningless" and "Jerry Springer-like." I had an A with OM for three years, and thought he was my "soulmate." When H said these things to me so convincingly, I absolutely believed him and knew it to be true, but didn't WANT it to be true. Hearing these words from him also convinced me that I wanted to be with H... NEEDED to be with H... and had to break free from OM.

Anyway, I'm glad to hear things are turning in your direction. Things here are well... I am on summer break right now (I work in a school) so I am enjoying reading, cooking, taking care of the house and playing the ukelele (I play a rousing rendition of "Amazing Grace", lol.) I start summer school next week, and I look forward to seeing the kids again... they are my heart (my students and my H!)

Keep us updated on how things are going, and thank you for serving our country, GHA.

Katie

The funny thing is, this is my "vacation" from the A...My pastor even said that it was good that I was here so that I could think clearly...The one thing I have always done is what made everyone else happy...My first priority is making sure my kids are happy...God, I miss them...I didn't read the Word last night and I feel terrible today...Will make up for it after work tonight...I watched the movie Blood Diamond last night and realized that I am truly blessed to live in such a wonderful country (not the one I'm in now of course), and be able to make my own decisions...Happy 4th to everybody...

Got a question for anyone who would like to chime in...I kind of told my wife a lie, not because I was being dishonest, but because I want to surprise her and the kids...I told her I was coming home on the 25th of August, when i will actually be home the 23rd...Was I right or wrong for that considering the current situation??? I know what the PORH says, but thought I would throw that out there...

I don't have any problem with that. I just hope you aren't the one who gets the surprise. Besides, from where you are, it might really be the 25th.

It will be the 23rd, at 8 o'clock in the morning...As far as me getting the surprise, it would kind of tell me a lot by her reaction to me just showing up...

I have to wonder if maybe that isn't an ulterior motive.

If it is, then you are being dishonest.

I'm not sure I would do it any differently, however.

There truly isn't other motive than the element of surprise...My kids won't expect me just to show up on the doorstep at 9:30 in the morning right after they wake up...They think they are coming to the airport on the 25th...I have a feeling though that my WW will know something is up when I don't call her for 30 hours...But then again, maybe not....If I get a surprise, then I get one, but am not worried about that...To say that I haven't thought about it, then I would be lying...I just have to trust the Lord though...

So what are you taking the kids as a surprise?

I'm trying to figure that out as we speak...I will have to look in Dubai and figure it out...They have WAY too many stuffed animals, so that is out of the question...Any suggestions?

There is actually very little you can get in Dubai that isn't cheaper to get in the USA.

I always liked to get things that had logos. Hard Rock Cafe Dubai shirts, for example. The Harley shop there has some great UAE logos - some of the best I've ever seen.

Stuffed camels (small) are a possibility. Also my children still love their teddy bears from the Teddy Bear shop although one of the bears needs it's snorer replaced. You can record something else on the recorder - like your own voice.

I recommend a small gold bracelet with their name written in Arabic. Get someone you trust to check the translation though.

They are a bit too young for school so key chains are out. Mine kill for key chains.

For you, I highly recommend you visit the nearest US embassy (Dubai only has a consulate) and ask the marines if they sell polo shirts. Usually the marines at the embassy sell shirts to raise money for their local events. Each embassy's logo is designed by the marines in that country so they are all different. I have quite a collection. Not many people have those. You also have a Harley shop in Kuwait although they sell more bikes than shirts.

I'll look around the house tonight and see what other "local" ideas I come up with.

See, my WW collects Hard Rock T-shirts...I thought about getting them some shirts from Ski Dubai or something...

Thing is not many people know what that really is. It's not a bad idea but HRC and HD shirts have instant recognition. It's all about the location. People look at the back - not the front. The HD shop in Dubai has a classic logo. It is an Arab riding a camel across the desert but the shadow cast resembles a man on a Harley. They sell those shirts like popcorn. I have HD shirts from all over the world and that one is one of the best.

I've gone in to HD shops in the USA with those shirts on and invariably had to swap with one of the guys in the store. Okay I know it doesn't exactly sound hygenic - it's a biker thing.

That sounds pretty cool...I will definitely have to check those out...and you are right about the logos and stuff...

Talked to my WW this morning and it seems the fog is starting to lift a little...However, OM keeps trying to contact my WW by texts and calls...he tried to call her Sunday right after church and my WW said that she gave the phone to her friend and friend told him to respect her wishes that he not call, text or show up at the house anymore...He said ok, but then later continued to text again...She said she doesn't understand why he won't leave her alone...I asked her if she wanted me to take care of it, and she said no, that she will take care of it...I told her that OBVIOUSLY he doesn't respect her boundaries...Her mom, me, her aunt, and friend from church told her to change her cell phone number, the house number, and she said she knew that she was probably going to have to. I guess I can't from here anyway...He sent her a text earlier while I was on the phone and told her if she wanted to talk that he was here...Oh, what a tangled web we weave...I so want to move when I go home...She said on the phone that for the first time in her life she is alone (WTF?), that she can't be with me, and certainly not him...Is that normal thinking, or is that guilt? I just don't say anything anymore when she talks and just let her talk...

No alarm bells. It sounds like she is trying to reach out for help. Let her talk. Listen to what she says.

She is not asking you to fix anything. She is just telling you how she feels. IMO that is a surprisingly good sign.

Just have her (girl) friends keep her surrounded as much as possible.

OM is finally showing his true colors. WW is just beginning to see that. The way things are going right now, God may be doing you a favor by keeping you over here. You might have really mucked things up if you had gone back. Now OM is doing it all by himself.

Why would she say she can't be with me and especially not him (not that he matters)? Where does that come from? Doesn't hurt my feelings anymore, but curious....

Oh....maybe because you're 10,000 miles away?