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Joined: Jun 2007
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Well, at least he is moving back to California...


Romans 8:28-All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
BH (me) 30 yrs old (Currently in Middle East until August)
WW 32 yrs old
Married 7 yrs
2 beautiful daughters-3 and 4
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
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Well yes but at the same time it's not really what you want to hear. What you want to hear is that WW dumps OM, realizes her mistake, apologizes to you for it and devotes herself entirely to your M.

Are you prepared to recover your M if any of those things doesn't happen?

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She said that she dumped him, said that she realizes her mistake, has apologized for it, and said she is devoted to our M...I am just going to continue to trust God until I get home...


Romans 8:28-All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
BH (me) 30 yrs old (Currently in Middle East until August)
WW 32 yrs old
Married 7 yrs
2 beautiful daughters-3 and 4
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
Yet she keeps seeing him. Does she say why she keeps seeing him?

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Well, he just showed up at the house. She was supposed to drop mail off at his work so he wouldn't come by. He knocked on the back door and she said it was him and that she gave him his mail and started to walk back inside and she said that he told her he loved her and she told him that she doesn't want him to say that anymore. She said he kissed her on the forehead and she pulled away...I don't know what to believe there...she said she just went back in the house. She then called him on his way to her dad's (from her new cell number, which I brought up, but said she hit *67 so the number wouldn't come up. Said she was smarter than to give him her number) and then told him that stuff...She then called me to tell me about it. I know about the radical honesty thing, but it hurts.


Romans 8:28-All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
BH (me) 30 yrs old (Currently in Middle East until August)
WW 32 yrs old
Married 7 yrs
2 beautiful daughters-3 and 4
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
All in all things are going extremely well with WW. The pain will go away but your marriage will remain. I think prayer seems to be working for you.

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Why do you think things are going well? Prayer is definitely working for me....


Romans 8:28-All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
BH (me) 30 yrs old (Currently in Middle East until August)
WW 32 yrs old
Married 7 yrs
2 beautiful daughters-3 and 4
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
P
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P Offline
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
Because the A has died on its own. No unrequited love. No withdrawal pains from OM. And all this when you were half a world away. I'm a bit surprised that she did this on her own without you there. I'm not complaining - just surprised.

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Well, I think having a best friend from church and our pastor there for accountability really helped...


Romans 8:28-All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
BH (me) 30 yrs old (Currently in Middle East until August)
WW 32 yrs old
Married 7 yrs
2 beautiful daughters-3 and 4
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
P
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
Yup. Nothin like playin the God card. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 486
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Posts: 486
Your W is still talking to OM because she is an addict.

I had numerous encounters with OM where I would be thinking to myself, "what am I DOING here?? Why am I TALKING to this person??"

Yet I didn't get up and leave... I kept talking to him.

Your W mostly likely doesn't want to be speaking to OM, but can't help it because she is addicted to him.

You can help her with this once you get home, but hopefully he'll be gone by then.

Has your W ever been addicted to anything, like cigarettes? Or shopping? Something she tried to cut back on?


Me: FWW (34)
H: BS (35)
Together 12 years, no children (yet)
LTA: 3 years
D-Day: Sept. 13, 2005 (I confessed)

So blessed, thankful and happy for my wonderful H...

"God lives in the gathering of saints."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 486
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Quote
OM's can cry on demand. They really are smooth.

My FOM was the biggest crybaby alive.

They use it because it works.

KM


Me: FWW (34)
H: BS (35)
Together 12 years, no children (yet)
LTA: 3 years
D-Day: Sept. 13, 2005 (I confessed)

So blessed, thankful and happy for my wonderful H...

"God lives in the gathering of saints."
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Posts: 180
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Why are they crybabies???? Is it a control issue???


Romans 8:28-All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
BH (me) 30 yrs old (Currently in Middle East until August)
WW 32 yrs old
Married 7 yrs
2 beautiful daughters-3 and 4
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
She needs to write him a no contact letter. See if she will do that. It should say that she made a HUGE mistake by having an affair with him and regrets it, that she wants to work on her marriage and loves YOU, and wants no contact with him again EVER, for any reason.

I forget, is the guy married?

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no, the guy is single, and we will write a NC letter as soon as I get home...


Romans 8:28-All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
BH (me) 30 yrs old (Currently in Middle East until August)
WW 32 yrs old
Married 7 yrs
2 beautiful daughters-3 and 4
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
She needs to write it NOW. Will she?

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I haven't asked her, because I want to be able to read it...Know what I mean?


Romans 8:28-All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
BH (me) 30 yrs old (Currently in Middle East until August)
WW 32 yrs old
Married 7 yrs
2 beautiful daughters-3 and 4
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
The usual procedure is that she writes it and you MAIL it.

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But I want to be home when she does it so I know it is done...


Romans 8:28-All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
BH (me) 30 yrs old (Currently in Middle East until August)
WW 32 yrs old
Married 7 yrs
2 beautiful daughters-3 and 4
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
GHA,

Usually deviating from MB practice doesn't give good results. Believer is advising you based on a lot of years of experience. Personally I would listen.

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