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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 3 |
hi hi first time here, site was recommended. I need help in trying to resolve an issue. I found porn pics on my husbands phone( no big deal). He first denied they were his, then said they were a friends, then didnt know how they got there.well with a little investigation of cell records: found out they were his,has had few conversations with this lady whom he has pics of her naughty parts, over a course of a few months. I find this unacceptalble behavior and my trust is shot atm. he has apologized for lying, and not intentionally wanting to hurt me, but refuses to apologize for talking to her. the talking to her is the part i cannot have in my life and cant seem to get him to see my view on it, i feel it unacceptable in a marriage, help! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714 |
Suzy, I hate to say it, but your husband is either in an emotional affair or a physical affair with this woman. (Unless this is a 900# phone sex service--in which case the chances of the photos being of the woman on the other end are slim.) In either case, your intuition is probably right on.
Please post this on General Questions II or on Just Found Out. They'll be able to help more, and you'll get a lot more responses.
Meanwhile, read this entire site, the basic concepts, the articles and the letters. Lots of good information.
Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 16
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 16 |
this sounds so familiar. my husband made up all kinds of lies and stories to cover up pics of another woman. no doubt in my mind he is lying to you. not sure if he is having an affair, but i would be suspicious.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,703
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,703 |
he has apologized for lying, and not intentionally wanting to hurt me, but refuses to apologize for talking to her. the talking to her is the part i cannot have in my life and cant seem to get him to see my view on it, i feel it unacceptable in a marriage, help!
________________
it is unacceptable in marriage.......don't let him talk you out of your feelings.
but, don't believe him if he suddenly has a change of heart either....if he isn't getting it yet....he is going to need some help understanding that that type of behaviour is not what you want in a marriage. you are not willing to share your husband.
get some outside help....go to MC.
stick to your guns.
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 30
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 30 |
I feel for you. I too have had to deal with similar stuff in my marriage. It is painful and wrong. His behavior is totally unacceptable. He may have an addiction and there are therapy groups out there to help with that. With what I have learned and researched about porn, Pornography is addictive. It creates unhealthy expectations in a marriage. These expectations carry into marriage creating conflict, confusion, pain,distrust between husband and wife, and adultery. For some, it is a way of coping with lifes problems (like alcohol) and they learn to depend on the rush they get from it to help with feelings of depression, stress, anger, lonliness, etc. It is not healthy at all. It does not sound like just porn on the phone, but he has some other relationship with this woman. Be careful.Don't let him tell you it's just porn.
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