I was just curious if anyone else had this happen to them. After my wife confessed her affair with a coworker I exposed the affair to the OMW immediately. I couldn't get an answer on her phone, so I drove to her house. I explained who I was and that my wife worked with her husband (she used to work there so she knew my wife), and that she had admitted to me that they had sex on one occasion. She didn't believe me. I gave her my wife's phone number and she called her. My wife confirmed everything. She then got on the phone with her husband who, of course, denied everything. She became very angry with me and said that my wife was making things up and trying to destroy her marriage. He then went to the courthouse and had a restraining order put on me. I never even raised my voice to the woman. I apologized to her and told her "I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I would want to be told if the situations were reversed".

I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this. I was totally blown away that she would be angry with me. I actually expected some sympathy from her. I certainly sympathized with her.

It's called denial. Of course OM "ran" to the courthouse. He wants you SILENCED. You did the right thing. Now they have to deal with it.

changed4ever - this has happened before. Denial, as princessmeggy said, coupled with FEAR of what the consequences may be if your "message" is true, is what is going on.

You have done all that is required. The rest is up to the Other Man's wife.

God bless.

Changed,

I called the OPS 6 months after NC to confirm he would be the one to open a package marked "personal" confirming is wife's affair with my H. By his response, he did NOT know as OW had said he did.

He never even said thanks and the package was signed for by an assistant who may have thrown it in the garbage for all I know.

But I did our part. If he wants to be in denial like PM said, that's his business. (OW was in denial that it was an affair b/c they never met or had physical sex, only virtual phone fornication.)

You did you part. Don't worry about how he/she reacts.

Ace

Thanks for the responses everyone. It has been a year since this happened and I know I did the right thing. I was just curious if this happens a lot. I can't imagine another betrayed spouse coming to my door to let me know about this, and reacting angrily toward them. I don't know exactly what I would do, but I think that I would thank them for telling me and try to find out all that they knew about the affair. I would hate to know that I was inflicting more suffering on someone who had already been through the suffering that was inflicted by my spouses selfishness. I am not mad at her now. I feel sorry for her because I know what she has gone through. I just don't understand, but I probably never will.

It's called shooting the messenger.

And don't kid yourself; she believed you.

The OM getting a restraining order was overkill.

Thing is, the couple can't pretend there aren't any alligators in their swamp.

chngd, the tendency with many ppl is to shoot the messenger, so I am not surprised to see this happening with you. Some folks are very averse to reality, even to the point of hostility. I can't count the times on the board when I have told a BS some bad news, ie: that recovery is impossible if the affairees remain in contact, etc, etc, or accurately described a wh*re as a wh*re. I have actually had folks get GET MAD about stating such a true fact. Some people are just very dysfunctional in that they are so terrified of reality that they become hostile when confronted with it and lash out at the vehicle.

In your case, the couple has made you the lightening rod for the all the problems in their marriage. Much easier to demonize you than to admit there is adultery in the marriage.