I have worked for three years with a colleague who has sabotaged me, manipulated me and obstructed me for those three years. I was given the job from the "outside" as manager of the department after she had applied for the job herself. By doing that I became her manager so I was on the back foot from day one.

I've told many people on the board about the situation and have been given extremely helpful advice. Over the last couple of months my health has been getting worse (mental and physical) because of the constant drama and being on edge for 8 hours every single day.

I've since applied for (I was headhunted which was a very big boost to my self esteem) and got a very good position in a different part of the university.

There is no way I ever hated my colleague or thought she was evil and yet she has undermined me in every way possible for three years. I finally realised it was a situation I could no longer deal with and that is that as far as I'm concerned. Hate is not even a small part of the equation.

Edited to add: Her final piece of manipulation has been being the model employee for the last two weeks of my time in my old job.

I have the option of not allowing her to do this to me. I just stay away from her...don't look at her..don't talk to her..she doesn't exist for me...

BUT..when I do see her or hear her talk, I FEEL ENRAGED..I just do..it is what it is...



I do feel like my person is EVIL..one of those PEOPLE OF THE LIE...

Have you any idea WHY she does it to you? Knowing the why of my colleague's behaviour did help a bit. It didn't solve anything but it made it easier to know she'd have done it to anyone who came in, not just me.

Isn't it a poop that the people we (generic we) work with can be so unbelievably revolting.

I think she's NUTS.

I had BEFRIENDED her although other people had warned me that she is like that. I helped her with stuff in her life..like on here..I mean REALLY HELPED her in LOTS OF WAYS..and then she SNAPPED and has been HATEFUL TOWARDS ME..CONNIVING..JUST AWFUL...

It doesn't matter to me WHY..

I hate it that I'm even talking about her today. I so don't want her to matter in my life.

But, I did have to DISAGREE WITH HER..CROSS HER..when she was ORDERING me to do something and I said NO..but we are basically EQUALS and she has no sayso over what I do..that's when it got REALLY BAD...

LOL we won't talk about her any more.

I always take heart when EVERYONE warns you about certain people on the staff. They're the losers in the end.

FWIW I have a very good book called "How to work with people you can't stand." The techniques in it are great because the book goes into people's work personality style. The Tank, The Grenade, The Sniper, The Expert, The Think they're an Expert, The Yes Person etc etc. LOL it's helped me on here a few times and also helped me work out my own work personality.

I used it for my sitch at work but just can't be bothered even trying to work things out any more. I don't have to after next week anyway. Yaaaaay.