I have been with my spouse for 6 years,and we have two kids together plus we each had a child from before for a total of 4 kids in the home. I am a stay at home mom. I just two days ago found in his email. He has been writting women to meet them at his hotel when away on bussiness and others to share stories or meet with. After talking to him he states he never did anything but e-mail them and I should be so upset. We had a fight the day before, because I wanted to get in writting a contract for the 100k I am putting down on our 1st house together. I felt this was a bussniess deal since we are not married I needed to protect myself. He had told me he was unhappy and no longer wanted to marry me but wanted to stay together and buy a house.I only wanted the contract becasue I felt he really didn't want to be with me like he had told me and we might be over in a matter of months. Loving him and thinking of my kids I choose to go ahead and buy the house. Then the very next day I found his e-mails. He says he can't remember anything about why he wrote them or anything else.... but because they were two years ago I should be happy he didn't follow thru with them.
I have been stuggling to live with the fact of his lying and I feel that everything he has said in the past years are all lies. I have tryed to talk to him once last night and again today. He says he can't live another day with my reminding him and poking at him. What do I do I hurt...

See an attorney and secure your finances before you do anything else. He is not trustworthy.

Then see a counselor to figure out why you would put up with so little from him. There are many good men out there who WOULD want to marry you. This one sounds like a LOSER.

By the way, welcome to marriagebuilders. Hope you will stick around here and read and post.

I agree with Believer. You should secure your assests for youself first. If after six years and two children he still doesn't want to get married, something doesn't seem right. You say the e-mails are 2 years old, you should look into finding something more recent.

He may have acted on the messages from before, and there may be no way of finding out the truth. He might have been unhappy for a bit before and just looking around. Again you have no real way of knowing. You can just try to trust him, but he has lied.

If he did get away with it before, he probably will again, if not already. It is sad news to find out something so late. Good luck to you, and keep looking into it.

-----------
Rummi