I've been watching the new cable series "ArmyWives". Last night one of the wives found out that another wife was having an affair. The one who found out was a new army wife and told her best friend (another army wife). Her best friend told her that she couldn't tell anyone what she found out (even though this same woman having an affair had treated them badly) because the Army had a code, even among army wives. They had to protect each other which meant not telling anyone about the other woman's affair.

Did Hollywood just make this up or is there really such a "code" among Army wives. From what I've read here from other service people, the military is AGAINST affairs and/or immoral behavior.

I know this is probably not relevant to MB but it just irritated me to see this being promoted as an "Army way" if it really isn't (or even if it is). Especially because our young married people serving our country might actually belive this is the way it is.

Does anyone know the answer to this? Is there a "code of silence/honor or whatever" for army wives?

I've been an Army wife for 23 years. My H has been deployed twice. There's no such "code". Denying it I feel like the Jack Nicolson character "you can't handle the truth". But I really have never heard of such a thing and I have been a family support group leader during my H's unit's deployment.

If I found out another wife/spouse was cheating, I would tell my husband, especially now because he is in leadership. Because invariably, cheating (the soldiers OR the spouses) begins to affect the soldier's ability to do his job and often his finances.

I don't know anything about the TV program, but it sounds more like any friend who chooses to support the cheater.

Definately no such code in the Air Force and I suspect it's the same in all the services. Could be wayward speak or something unique to their little clique. The interaction of the spouses varies base to base, but is generally very supportive. There's allegedly no rank among wives, but that's not really totally true. Spouses often wear their husband's rank and officer and enlisted wives rarely hang out together because it is tough to have a close relationship when your husbands aren't allowed to be friends.

I'm not an "Army wife"...but I'm an ex-active duty Army NCO.

No, there is no such "code". Infidelity DOES tend to run rampant among military dependents...its a HARD life for both the service members and their families. Long term deployments, long work hours even when you're not deployed...its not easy.

I'll say that the majority of the time that I've personally seen, if a spouse is cheating, someone will end up telling the betrayed spouse...either way. It doesn't matter if its the servicemember of the family member. Infidelity IS looked down on by most servicemembers and family members. Some people will try to promote the idea that "what happens in XXX stays in XXX". But it rarely works out that way.

Additionally, the military DOES make infidelity illegal for servicemembers. It's punishable under the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice).

Hollywood just likes to glamorize cheating...its the big thing on TV anymore. And because it IS a common problem in the military due to the horrendous strain on the marriages due to the job, they like to come up with this silly junk.

But most people detest cheating...and will tell the betrayed spouse if their aware of it.

Thanks all. That's a relief. I was hoping this was the case. It really makes me mad when Hollywood ruins things and sends such a destructive message! I really like this show and it's a shame they had to blow it this way.