And you can read what I have already written in the Recovery Forum. Just click on the word Recovery in my sig line.


Everything is better than ever. I still struggle with anger. I hurt still. I really struggle a lot with my physical image. BUT.... I know my DH loves me. He admits freely and honestly about his A. And how terrible it was. That he never loved her, but he thought he did.

I look back and know that I KNEW when his A's started, both times. But I knew that I couldn't have emotionally handled them (I was pregnant and in postpartum... they both happened in a year's time). I simply stuck my head in the sand and focused on my children. It was all I could do to keep going. When I was ready... I finally started digging for confirmation. I knew that I was losing my husband and I HAD to fight.

And fight: I sure as heck did.

To me, the fight was worth it. I have the man I married back. His friends can SEE the change in him. They had been skeptical and we had no one but ourselves for a long time. His friends were hurt, and FWH didn't realize the full extent of WHO he was hurting by his actions.

I am one of the really lucky ones. My FWH came out of the fog and decided to WORK at earning my forgiveness and love.

Love is a choice. And he still chose me when everything was said and done.

Yes, I still hurt. Badly. But I gain strength from my husband. He's been consistent and worthy of trust. He's a better father than he's ever been. I'm looking forward to when the pain doesn't hurt so much. I focus on the positive and enjoy the man I have now.

Congratulations on your recovery! It really helps to have folks that were successful with the MB program come back and post.

I noticed in your recovery post that you DID go to marriage counseling before no contact was established. Can you elaborate more on that? We often tell people that MC is a waste of time and money if contact continues.

Yeah... NC was established while we were in counseling. But, I know that MC would have been a complete waste if NC had never been accomplished.

FWH went with me only TWO times before I went to his commander (boss) and fully exposed. I had been told by my H that he would never go back if I told his boss. The only reason I pressed to go when I did was because I had told FWH that if he did NOT stop the A, then in 3 weeks from that day... he'd go with me to counseling. He never thought I'd hold him to that. The next week, I went to MC alone. Sucked. But the following week, FWH was back to counseling with me. And although he was sulky and sullen, the following sessions were wonderful... in the sense that we progressed.

I will agree, MC is ineffective as long as the WS is still having the A or is in contact with OP. Miracles can happen once NC has been achieved.

I still remember Dday + 364. I was having a magical day in the magical kingdom. Next day came around and I was pissed. I relived a year in 24 hours. I actually punched Mickey but he didn't press charges.

I'm almost at 2 years now. I really don't hurt at all any more. I think it finally started going away about three months ago. I may have taken a long time to heal because WW didn't do a lot to help. Maybe that's not entirely fair. She has in her way. But the pain will go away. And it will have been worth it.