My Tale

My wife went to celebrate her birthday out of town with her best friend. Shortly after she began going out of town more often w/ her friend with excuses for every outing. She was also on her computer allot and wouldn't disclose what she was doing. On one of her outing it all just hit me. The weird phone number, her sneaking, and last but not least a mans deodorant in her bag. I confronted her upon her return from being w/ th OP and she admitted to have the affair. She was honest and told me she couldn't break off the affair. Devi stated i bought SAA which gave me at least a plan, found myself the only party in restoring the marriage. She then read part of the book and seem hopeful, but she was hesitant about me monitoring her. Knowing she was IM'ing to communicate i ask her to close her yahoo account. She didn't. Instead read to me over the phone a letter to the OP she was going to send (Fake). She was covering all her tracks regarding me. She was trying to keep me happy so i wouldn't be suspicious (didn't work). I finally installed a Key logger on her computer. Last night she was "in the bath" for 2 hrs with the laptop blasting her music. This morning i checked the log and sure enough Mr. OP and my wife chatting their little sexual hearts away. Crushed and unhinged i confronted her. She swore to God that she wasn't talking to the OP anymore and wanted to see what prof of why i was accuse her(i didn't give it to her). I lost it , cursing her up an down and she kept denying it until th end of our confrontation. where she said,"how does it feel to know you've been lied to by someone you trust." I have a pornography addiction and that is what she was referencing. I told her she has to leave and to find somewhere else to live. And thats what she is doing now. She got her independence on the 4th of July.

i was reading the intro to this forum and have an issue with exposing her affair to her/my families. She loves her mom but mom isn't too fond of her this would be devastating to what little relationship she has with her. Am I just retarded?

Rick

Rick,

Whatever you decide to do, you will have to prepare yourself for what is coming next. Exposing her to your respective families can also potentially blow the lid off your porn addiction. Are you prepared for that possibility?

You didn't mention this in your post, but do you have kids? I'm not from where you live...but I'd imagine that custody hearings would be a big hassle (to say the least) when your WW has that kind of ace-in-the-hole (knowledge of your addiction).

As bad as things got between you, it doesn't excuse her for cheating and lying.

Just think about what you are prepared to do...and do it before she does.

Lots of luck.

Is the other man married?

passionpeach,

Thanks for your reply. I have 2 children and the State of ND sides in the majority of the time with the spouse. They also have a slew of programs for the spouse to get on their feet. I'm going through a swarm of emotions. I get glad to have run her out of my house and then miss her. I get mad then depressed.

believer,

The OP is not married

Rick

I have also been going for counseling for my addiction.

Hi Rick,

I am a bit unsure of what you are asking. How can we help you?

The only question asked in your post is, "Am I just retarded?" The answer is of course, no you are not. You and your wife are merely victims of poor choices and that makes you not much different than everyone else that is here.

Unlike your addiction your wife likely feels that her voyage outside of the marriage is fully justified. Your wife has an addiction that is no less destructive than yours though I doubt she sees it that way.

The key to receiving your “answer” is to first ask the question. What is your question?

Mr. G