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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 27
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 27 |
I'm so confused. My wife doesn't want to work to improve our marriage at all. She says "I want to have fun." She is sleeping on the couch tonight. I went downstairs and told her I've been waiting for her to come to bed... That I want to satisfy her sexual needs. She has stopped looking for other men to have sex with on the Internet, but she won't let me try to satisfy her... she says I'm not able to. I tell her I just want to make her happy and satisfied and give me a chance. But she doesn't want to let me. I asked her if she wants me to leave her alone and she said "For tonight, anyway."
What's that supposed to mean? Just yesterday I asked her if she wants to spend the night at a hotel together for our anniversary next week and she said yes. Should I still book a room? She lets me hold her hand and give her kisses. We have been spending a lot of recreational time together.
I've asked her to look at this website and she won't. I don't want to push her for fear of driving her away. I'm trying to work on my LB and her EN, but I know that sexual fulfillment is a big EN for her. I don't want to push her to fil out the EN and LB questionnaires, but how long should I go on just taking my best guess?
Is there any hope? I'm a wreck... I can't sleep. Neither can she because of insomnia, but she would rather lie awake on the couch than let me try to satisfy her.
Help me!
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 180
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 180 |
No.1) Stop asking or begging her...Leave her alone...Let her be. No.2)Plan A and don't worry about what she does or doesn't do...Only work on yourself and become a BETTER man...I have had to do the same thing, and trust me, it sucks and you will feel like you HAVE NO CONTROL!!! But believe me, you have a lot more control than you realize...What your wife wants, is a man, not someone who grovels...When she thinks that you are pulling away, you will see a difference...Even then, continue to Plan A!!! BE STRONG!!
Romans 8:28-All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
BH (me) 30 yrs old (Currently in Middle East until August)
WW 32 yrs old
Married 7 yrs
2 beautiful daughters-3 and 4
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
What's that supposed to mean? It means she doesn't want you tonight. Tomorrow may be different. Talk to her, be affectionate. It's not a lost cause.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 27
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 27 |
No.1) Stop asking or begging her...Leave her alone...Let her be. No.2)Plan A and don't worry about what she does or doesn't do...Only work on yourself and become a BETTER man...I have had to do the same thing, and trust me, it sucks and you will feel like you HAVE NO CONTROL!!! But believe me, you have a lot more control than you realize...What your wife wants, is a man, not someone who grovels...When she thinks that you are pulling away, you will see a difference...Even then, continue to Plan A!!! BE STRONG!! Thank you for the good advice, but how will I know when she wants intimacy? She will definitely not initiate it, it's all on me (It's been this way for many years).
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 180
Member
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Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 180 |
Thank you for the good advice, but how will I know when she wants intimacy? She will definitely not initiate it, it's all on me (It's been this way for many years). You will know...My marriage has been the same way at times, but the tide will turn...Once she starts seeing you become stronger, she will be attracted to that...
Romans 8:28-All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
BH (me) 30 yrs old (Currently in Middle East until August)
WW 32 yrs old
Married 7 yrs
2 beautiful daughters-3 and 4
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