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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 20
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 20 |
How do you guys deal with family that thinks you are crazy for continueing to try after an affair when especially when you already have insecurity about the whole situation? I just keep telling myself my life, my family, my decision, my consequences. I can't talk to them, that's why I am so greatful to have found this website.
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 37
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Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 37 |
I have this problem also. I just tell them that I have to do what I can to save my marriage, that way I that I tried and didn't just give up (this is kind of a sore topic between my mom and me, she is on her 6th husband). I just ask them to respect my choices and support me while I am going through this time.
Good luck to you.
BS - 30
WH - 29
D-Day 2 Oct
Married 8 Aug 08
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
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Member
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044 |
don't expect them to understand everything. They are really looking out for what THEY THINK is in your best interests. Sometimes families are able to see things others can't....but usually, they are just trying to help without really knowing how to do it.
Let them know what your goals are and that if they cannot be supportive of them, to please refrain from comment.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,715
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Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,715 |
Agreed.
Tell them point blank that recovering your marriage is your goal, and its what YOU are going to do.
They can either support that goal, or they can remain silent. Make it clear that you love them, but this choice is YOURS to make, and they're going to have to accept this.
My wife had a HUGE concern over this being an issue in our recovery. I told her that I highly doubted anyone would act against us working things out, but that if they had an issue with it, it was THEIR problem, because WE had our plan to follow.
Turned out to be a non-issue for the most part in my case. My family has either supported us, or remained out of the issue.
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