Hello All. Hopefully I'll make this quick. My girlfriend and I were engaged for a few months and then decided to take a little break from each other. Both of us had needs that were not being meet and decided to work on it by each reading His Needs, Her Needs. We have been only talking and seeing each other minimally for the last 2 months. All seems good but I still find myself not getting the respect I want and she has most of the control. Sometimes I'll wait around to see if she'll call and it sucks when she doesnt. I have been going out with my friends and have talked to a few girls but never took it anywhere further. I definetly like the attention/respect I get from other girls. It feels good. I finally decided to tell her today about how I feel. We are going to talk about it later but my question is:

Do you think it is a good idea to take a break from each other and not contact or see one another at all for a few months? Or to dive back in and see if it works?

This sitting around waiting is killing me inside and tough to deal with. Thanks!!!

If you are committed to the relationship, IMO it needs active effort, something beyond "seeing if it works." How can you work on improving a relationship if you have no contact? Waiting will not likely yield the results you want.

Hopefully your conversation with her helped to clarify where you both want things to be.

Those issues like this often become more pronounced after marriage. You can not change her. She can, however, change herself, if she wishes.

I've always thought that most premarital counseling is a joke. I think it should be much more like family therapy. If you can't come to mutually agreed upon commonality, counseling might help you decide what to do with the relationship.

after already being married once, in my opinion, i think counseling before diving into another marriage is an almost must. if this is your first marriage, take it from us who have btdt, and get counseling together before you take that step.

i know i for one, am COMPLETELY open to doing counseling with whomever i marry BEFORE we take that step. i just think it is a really good idea. whether it be with a therapist or a pastor or both.

just my 2 cents.

mlhb

If you are getting more respect from other women than you are from this girl you are thinking of marrying, I'd say it's time to forget the engagement/wedding plans and move on from this relationship altogether to one of the young ladies who already treats you with respect...

sounds a little like my situation. i guess i should take my own advise in saying this but i think you should just let her go. my fiance does the same thing when i test him to see if he will call and he doesnt and it does suck and it hurts. if you guys feel like you need to take a break and see other people then shouldnt that be a sign that things arent going to work?