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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 3 |
First of all and most improtantly, I LOVE my wife with all my heart and soul.
It has been three years now since I was discovered being unfaithful to her by watching pornography and having an affair with someone in a chat room.
I am a Christian, but up until then I had not given my addiction to pornography over to the Lord and therefore struggled with it ever since I was a teenager. Since then, and after letting the Lord take total control of my life, although I am still faced with temptations daily, I have overcome the addiction.
I truly cherish my wife(my childhood sweetheart) and work hard each and every day trying to make our marriage better then it ever was before.
The problem is the emotional damage I did to my wife who still after three years says she still does not totally trust me.
Although our relationship is great, we have not had any physical intimacy for three years now.
All I want is for our marriage to be completely whole, but I am not sure how to help make this happen.
Any suggestions ?????
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015 |
Yes. Is your wife a believer?
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 3 |
Yes, she has a very strong faith but my feeling is that she still has a lot of bitterness because of the hurt I caused her.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,703
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,703 |
Yes, she has a very strong faith but my feeling is that she still has a lot of bitterness because of the hurt I caused her. ___________________ i am sure that is true....but 3 years w/o being intimate w/ your husband??? surely, she must realize that God did not intend that for marriage....and what does she think you do?/ i assume she assumes you take care of yourself (masturbate).....does she resent that also?
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 3 |
I don't think she resents that fact, but she just doesn't seem to have any interest in intimacy or feel it has to be part of our relationship.
I know she loves me, but.....
Intimacy between a husband and wife is something very special that the Lord gave to us and unites us as one in a very special way.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,703
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,703 |
Intimacy between a husband and wife is something very special that the Lord gave to us and unites us as one in a very special way
___________________
i agree.
does your wife understand this?
have you told her how much you wish to be intimate and close to her agaiN?
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 19
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 19 |
I am wondering why you had to turn to pornography and internet intimacy for sexual contact, while you were married. Sexual intimacy is usually a major emotional need for both men AND women.
You don't say how old you are, nor how long you have been married. But I am wondering why both you and your wife have felt that it is somehow okay for your wife to be rationing sex, either as her privilege, or as your punishment.
Being married does not entitle either spouse to starve-out the other party for one or more major emotional needs. Period.
_________
I don't know the acronyms
I'm a wife
Married 20 years
5 kids
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
have you discussed this..
what does she SAY about it...
does she desire to be intimate and sexual with you...
what happens when you romance her to the stars...
what is the topic of conversations on this like
ARK
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