Soory for the absence my MB family...the emotions of seperation from WW was too great and realising that i had to start from basics was the hardest. In jamaica we had the laws ammended to follow USA so of course lawyers are in line and got my crap together (nooooo----wait she left).....the other crap tpgether and waiting it out.

Now i am going to get hit here soooo......i told her VERBALLY about not contacting me untill she was sure of what she wanted to do in regards to our marriage and the conditions laid out.

I am writing a plan B letter as we speak to email.......pep and mimi gave tonnes of advice bout this.

It all feels sooo surreal though....11 years down the tube.

I nearley lost it again ...and God bless supporting family and IN-LAWS (yep....i hit the jackpot with mine)

THe problem is now ..she calls daily and i dont want to answer the cell.

there are days when i feel strong and then days that i...........well you heard all those stories.

So that is when i realize that i am not alone. Through the darkest times MB have been there.......and the jokes that make us roar with laughter in office is awful..but tonnes a fun.

You know...someone shoulda made a list that states..."PLAN B....to be taken daily as needed to protect BS....side effects includes....(please make list here so i dont feel wierd when i see these effects)

Well at least i have a cleaned out house....no not true..she did leave the bed and the computer.

SO I CAN REMODELL THE HOUSE.....totally awsome!!

still.......i cant see us back together. and the only casualty in this selfish mess is my DS.

Still being 100% dad.

no less.

So what do ya all do with your free time .......besides hanging around naked near a wood chipper?

oh yes.........she left the empty aquarium too.

question...is it normal to feel that you have had enough and throw in the towel....or does your mind changes like the season so dont respond to emotions?

I really cant see anymore "us" and sometimes what she has done hits me with full force.

exactly how do you push this behind you?

Hi 007

If you do a really good, dark, midnight pitch black Plan B, one of your most recuring feeling can be boredom. There is no drama, no games, no meaningless puzzling fog talk to laugh at.

It is a time for you to hang on to the last shreads of love you still have and begin your own true journey to personal recovery.

I did a pretty darn dark Plan B and for most of the time thought it was having no effect on Wayzilla at all. I now am pretty certain that was not the case. It hit home.

I just did not have enough time.

You will have all kinds of very normal swings particularly early on. But in time the Plan B rollercoaster really does level out.


This is all normal. You can respond to the emotions as long as you stay dark and don't contact your WW.

Time and darkness will begin to heal you. Faster than you think.

The darker you stay and don't answer her calls, the quicker she will break. NC, I believe that she will break. My WW finally had SF with me, so your situation has hope as well. Just plan B as dark as you can. Sure, you won't be able to see any progress, but one day out of the blue she may agree to your plan B conditions.

"faster than you think...."


hmmmmmm----now there is a line that any BS would love to hold on to.

funny thing...my accountant was telling me about the importance of hanging around my son so OM dosent get to play "daddy".

Sometimes i feel like slapping somebody for messing with my DS head.

i will stay dark.

thanks chrisner.....you inspire me with your fortitude and diginity.

worthy of imitation.

nc

Jim,

I hope for her sake that she comes around. i am greatful to all of you for sharing your stories and "farting campfire" with me.

Now if i could just get to the red stripe beer.....

count your blessings jim...no kids.....yet (heheheheheheh)

the practice must be good though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well today i felt the swayed emotions of wanting to contact WW and the total disgust.....My SIL called me and asked how i was doing, we spoke for a long time then she said " WW doesnt talk to her for the past few weeks, since the return of a package to WW that she (WW) wanted to deliver to OM.

A tacit approval of the A being sought by WW?

It didnt work.

So WW did the next best thing.........cut off SIL and family.

I have DS on weekends and since i have to start over from ground up, i am getting a new car. "Our" car was in her name when we got married.

She hasnt called me in the past week....guess she got the point (not).

just start clearing out the rooms and preparing it for a new paintjob.

i will rise again one day.

At least i still have my dignity.....now where is that camera crew.

gotta run now guys...covering the election campaign in jamaica.

No problem.

So our election will be Aug. 27th.

Alot of parents are not happy 'cause its so close to the new school term.

ww tried calling today ...again. eventually found out thru VM that DS needs his school fees paid by Friday.......OOOK?.....done.

according to our PBL i am responsible for all his schooling.

last night i laid there looking into the ceiling and felt lost and sooo alone....i missed little squirt running thru the house shouting "daddy,daddy,daddy..(insert typical 6 y.o. questions here)"....i cried...and cussed myself.

how long will i have these feelings in plan B?

Why does your WW have primary custody of your son? She needs to be the one sitting at the ceiling crying.