I read your response on Slade's thread and it intrigued me. So I read your profile. It doesn't say anything about infidelity, (in fact, it said you're married and trying to have fun in that marriage). What I noticed is that it said your career is in **"human studies"**. <P>I wonder if you're doing a dissertation, or a research project on us? <P>Not to be paranoid or anything... just wondering.... well, maybe just a little paranoid <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited October 09, 1999).]

NB,<P>Hello. You are not being analyzed. My best friend introduced me to this web site after his wife suddenly shattered his reality, defiled his home and told him she never really loved him and she wanted a divorce. <P>I am one of the few people lucky enough to have him seek my counsel as he goes about making daily decisions to try and rebuild his life.<P>I know from checking his posts here (sometimes a number of times daily) how my friend is doing and what is happening in his life.<P>As I've mentioned, we often make occasions to speak at length. I've learned from those conversations how much the people on this website mean to him and how much strength and insight he gains from his exchanges here.<P>Often, I find him asking me for advice. Sometimes I'm happy when it happens because I really have something to offer that I think is helpful. Other times I am concerned because I fear I may lead my friend in a direction I would go instead of where HE should go. Does that make sense?<P>Anyway, my friend found Slade's post. He read it and felt so strongly about it that he emailed it to me. I read it and after months now of guessing whether or not it was appropriate for me to share; I replied.<P>One reason I chose to share is that this is a great sounding board. I wanted to know if my advice, my train of thought was the right way to go. I knew when I sumbitted my reply that if the members here thought I was all wrong, they would tell me. <P>A chance for me to learn and consider things that maybe I'd missed.<P>Anyway, this mystery friend I have been referring to was visiting tonight and he found your thread to me. He unreservedly said that you were great and I should reply to you promptly.<P>He said I could trust you.<P>So, with that said, if you want to know more, I'd be glad to share with you. I'm not hiding anything.<BR> <BR>email me here: enigma@got.net<P>Meanwhile, I will continue to lurk and learn. I may even try posting again. This site has already helped me to be a better husband. My wife and I would rate my communication skills at above average but I have to work at it. Keeping in touch here helps me be ever vigilant and keep my priorities straight.<P>I've felt the kind of pain routinely expressed here. Thankfully not recently but I have NO desire to ever feel it again. I recognize that I have daily opportunities to insure I won't.<P>Sorry to go on and on. Just trying to allay your concerns.<P>------------------<BR>"Our days together are numbered, Ininfite"

Okay, Mr. Earnest Beginner, I believe you and my concerns are allyed, so to speak.<P>Love that email name... let's see... you're not hiding anything but your name is enigma. You DO see the humor in that, right??<P>That's cool that you care enough about your friend to lurk, with his approval, and it's also neat that you posted. Keep doing that! I appreciated what you said, like I told yo originally- enough so that I read your profile.<P>Take care.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Hi Sheryl,<P>Thanks for the affirmation. I appreciate your input.<P>And yes, the humor was not lost on me with the email thing.<P>Have faith though. I'm less secretive than I am private.<P>Todd<BR> <P>------------------<BR>"Our days together are numbered, Ininfite"