My wife has been gone for 3 months now, and I am having a lot of the same questions.

How do you keep implementing plan A when they are already gone?
How do you be the best for them when they refuse to open up a little?
How can you keep making it work when they do not want to come back?
And how do you keep from calling and wanting to talk to them because you miss them and it hurts?

Thanks,
Rummi

It's more difficult when you are seperated. The WS get's to chose when you have the OPPORTUNITY to plan a them. Keep at it. The effects of a good plan a are cumulative.



You do you very best regardless of their seeming apathy / anger. They DO notice the plan a changes but will not dare to believe them for awhile. It can take weeks / months of consistant plan a implementation for them to start to think that "maybe" the changes are for real and not just an act.



See what I posted above. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />



ONE impulse at a time.


Stay Strong!

My question there would be...why don't they want to come back? Often, if the root of the separation is a trust issue, it gets tougher to rebuild. Depending on the level of mistrust, sometimes you have to start at square one. Get the trust back, and at the very least you will open a door for your partner/spouse to reconsider getting back together. It won't happen overnight.

One thing is for sure. The moment you stop being there and making your presence felt (even in the sidelines), it will give her an excuse to get over you.


Keep yourself busy...VERY busy. My friends always tell me that if they were jobless, they'd probably go stir-crazy. Job sometimes have their own stress-level, but for someone in relationship or marriage h e l l, it gives one an excuse to focus.

At the very least...keep the calls down to a minimum. Try other creative ways to communicate with her...make them your own.

Hang in there!