Well here it is another Saturday and I am missing my H terribly tonight. I am so tired of going to be alone and having no one to share my thoughts with or cuddle with.

How do you get through it.

When he was here on Tuesday I asked him what he was learning about himself. He told me how to be alone (he is living with OW), and that he will survive this (he chose to leave and not come home). He is so passive-agressive he is turning this around to him being the victim. Is that common?

How are you all doing tonight?

SG

At those times, I would pray and read my Bible..particularly Psalms.

Yep, do that and my AA book.

I miss him so much and just don't understand. He really doesn't care if I hurt or not, does he?

SG

I do have my phone call with Harley on Monday morning. Who has ever talked to him?

SG

Not right now. So try not to think about him.

I talked to Steve many times.

He is wonderful.

Thanks Mimi - do you have any suggestions what I should ask?

Here is the latest email from him yesterday. Should I respond?

Go home if you havent already the boys need you! Take care of them I miss them so much!
George

He is the one who left and wont' contact them. G-d this hurts so bad right now.

SG

Mimi,

What was it about the psalms that you enjoyed most?

SG

So comforting...

I also like Ephesians..really all of Paul's Letters...how the love of Christ conquers EVIL...

If you also read Job, it will make your life seem not so bad...It helped me realize how lucky I am to have my health...Concentrate on your children...That will also help..

I am Jewish, so I kinda don't go to the books after the Old Testament, but I will go read the psalms.

How are you doing?

SG

Job is in the old testament....I am doing wonderful..Can't wait to get home with my Wand kids...

i think reading the bible and praying are wonderful ideas.

i would also, however, be kind to yourself in the first few months, if you are not sleeping, and get an over the counter sleeping aid. i was so thankful for those. otherwise i would lay awake at night and picture my ex and ow together, and other awful things. one of those sleeping aids and i would be out like a light, no dreams or anything. they saved me until i could get to sleep on my own.

mlhb

I bought myself a new wide-screen TV and spent a lot of time in front it, multi-tasking btw that and my laptop. LOL!

For me, I slept better after I had made up my mind once and for all that I was moving on and that she was not coming back. For you in plan B, I suppose steeling yourself and getting your mind and heart in sync, and really moving on by getting out there and maybe taking up a new hobby etc (mine was scuba diving).. your perspective on things will change, and maybe you will not lose sleep over things you can't change right now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

"I am so tired of going to be alone and having no one to share my thoughts with or cuddle with.

How do you get through it."


I made little changes to my physical environment so that it didn't have the same "feel" that it did when he was living here. I rearranged my living room furniture (including the entertainment center). I rearranged a couple kitchen cupboards and changed the tablecloth. I rearranged my bedroom furniture into an arrangement that I never had before and changed the bedding. I made changes in every room of the house, and that helped immensely.

I see that you have older kids. You could join them for one of their weekly tv shows (they're more likely to include you if you bring popcorn or bake something LOL). At the beginning of my separation, one night a week was designated as Baking Night and my kids were invited to help (OS usually stuck around on Baking Night but his "help" was usually limited to helping select what to bake and helping to eat it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />).

I intended to pick up Cross Stitch or knitting or crocheting or something like that again, but I didn't get around to it. Some nights, I did grocery shopping when I needed to be around people. Other nights, I did a chore that typically got put off (like cleaning the refrigerator). I kept puzzle books handy for when I needed to concentrate on something in order to stop thoughts that weren't good for me to dwell on.

The new Harry Potter book is due to come out later this month. If you haven't already, now might be a good time to start reading the series....or another book series?

I can't remember more things now, skinsgal, but most of *my* ideas actually came from other people when I asked. Btw, I intended to be good company for myself vs just keep busy....and I think that helped a lot too.

Take care <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

SG,

I'm in the same spot as you, so I know how lonely it can be. I'm in a large house alone which doesn't help either.

For me, I just have been trying to fill up my calendar with things. Like last evening, I called an old friend for dinner. I had heard that his wife left him for OP sometime ago, so called and asked if he could have dinner and listen to my story. He's divorced and fine now, so it was nice to talk with someone who has been through this and survived. Do you know anyone like that you can talk too? I'm going to start calling more friends to reconnect with. Also, current friends are great support for us too. Call a friend to go shopping, see a movie etc.

I also own a business, so I go there a lot and catch up on paperwork etc.

I have the house for sale, so I've been cleaning garage and basement to make it look better. The point is that I try to wear myself out or stay out until the last possible minute at night so that when I get in bed I crash. I also started an AD two days ago, and I have slept very soundly the last two nights. Have you talked to your doctor about that?

Let me know how your session with Dr. Harley goes. I'm thinking of doing the same.

Thanks Knit,

I have two children left at home. Most of my married life I volunteered partly because it's who I am and partly to escape the games of my husband.

But my children suffered and I am just now really starting to understand how I cheated them. Staying away from them doesn't seem to be the best answer.

I am seeing a dr tomorrow for some help with that.


SG