First, the only way to "get rid of the feelings for OM" is to never see or speak to or communicate with the OM EVER AGAIN - FOR LIFE. You absolutely CANNOT rekindle your love for your husband when you are in contact with the OM.
Second. To answer your burning question: YES, your OM was using you. Plain and simple. He does not and did not care about you, other than a piece of meat. He is a married man and never had any intentions of leaving his wife for you, and unfortunately, you fell for it: hook, line and sinker.
When you said "I am impressed how much support he has shown me during the present situation" I am assuming you are referring to your husband. This is because your husband loves you. The OM does not love you, never did love you, never will love you. Get over it!!!!!
Not only did you basically take all the blame for this at work, but you also had to resign your job because, in your mind, you didn't want the OM (who has proven to you that he doesn't care about you) to suffer. Why would you protect the OM, who used you and then threw you to the wolves wthen the heat was on? What about your husband's suffering? It is time to let yourself get through the withdrawal from the OM - which only comes from No Contact For Life - and focus ALL of your energy on rebuilding the relationship with your husband.
BTW, I am the former wayward wife in my relationship with my husband, so don't think I'm hitting you with 2x4 because I don't like cheating wives. Been there, done that. Came through it and have rebuilt my relationship with my husband...it can be done.
Buy the books: Surviving an Affair, His Needs Her Needs, Love Busters. Start reading everything you can on this website (not necessarily the chat board but the information on Marriage Builders itself). Be proactive in putting your marriage back together.
Send your husband here too.
