I figured I’d start a new thread given the subject matter and because my original thread’s title is a bit of a misnomer, especially at this point!

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=1#Post3225222

We told the boys about the impending DV this past weekend. To be honest, it went much better than I anticipated. I had been reading Gary Neuman’s book on Kids and Divorce (the Sandcastles thing) and felt as prepared as I was going to be. The WW and myself sat them down and told them. Then we spent most of the weekend doing family stuff, trying to just be there for them and so forth.

My DS8 was remarkably non-plussed about it. He’s a sharp kid and knew something was up anyhow (how can you not when WW is sleeping in the guest room?). I am worried though because he didn’t want to talk about it at all, and said he was “perfectly fine.” The strange thing is, he’s the kind of kid who very well might be perfectly fine. Nevertheless, I think it might be the calm before the storm with him.

DS7 however, who is my emotional little guy anyhow, was all over the map. Angry first and foremost, saying irrational things about how we don’t love him, he’s running away from home, etc. Yet Mr. High-Low (as I call him sometimes!) was also just a sweet loving little boy for much of the rest of the weekend, with a few minor breakdowns. We’ve kept it wide open for them to talk to us and I know it might not really hit them until the actual change itself---moving to a new home, physically being separated from WW, etc. Then the real work begins.

Fortunately, my Mom moved here a few months ago and she is watching the boys this week in lieu of day camp. I’m glad about that, because she can key in on their behavior more closely and also be there if they need her.

Otherwise, the good news is that we’ve come to a fundamental agreement on almost every tenet of the divorce and will be filing soon. Question for any of you also: did anyone do the self-divorce process? I will have my attorney review the document to be sure, but if everything is clearly defined, does anyone have suggestions or feedback based on experience that I should be concerned about?

Still, I feel like I ran a marathon this weekend…all that emotional buildup, the stress, the release, yet I remain keyed up and anxious.

Has anyone here done a "do it yourself" divorce?

Xroads,

I hope you are feeling better today, after your marathon of a weekend. Don't have much input on divorce, but the threadname change could bring people around with advice.

Yes, I've done one, although I non-suited it right before it was finalized.

Can you elaborate a bit please? What does that mean? thanks!