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One other thing, Ani. This is a woman who is not fit to wield power over the lives of others. She has clearly abused her power and needs to be removed. She is leaving this company vulnerable for sexual harassment lawsuits and they need to know so they can remove her.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Thanks all for the info it's been so helpful. By the way my H stated that if he weren't married to me that it is possible he would be with her. Is this fog talk? Two weeks ago he said he loved me and then moved back home. States he feels like most of the days he wants to be home then other days he doesn't know if it is the right thing to do. After hearing if he wasn't married to me he'd possible be with her makes me feel like he really does want to be with her and maybe doesn't really love me. Is this what fog talk is? Can they say things like that then turn around and say they can't imagine living without you????

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Yes this is Fog talk. They say the dumbest things and they hurt, but only if you believe it. Try not to listen to this crap.

My wife told me: " M2L, I am in love with another man and you have to get used to it." OK SURE. All crap and not true.

It is easier for you to ignore this talk. It is HARD I know, but please try.

Keep working on you and your Plan A.

Have you started your work exposure?


M2L

ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06


Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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my H stated that if he weren't married to me that it is possible he would be with her. Is this fog talk?

Yup! As a matter of fact it is CLASSIC FOG BABBLE.

Pure, Unadulterated FOG BABBLE. Give it all the consideration it is due. NONE! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Is your letter ready yet Ani?

Are you ready to deal the killing blow to this affiar?

Stay Strong!


WTF *** Warning *** Make sure brain is engaged before shifting mouth out of Neutral.
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I'm ready. Just need to sit down and draft the letter. Using the HR policy and procedure manual as suggested. Is this worth all the trouble? I have no idea what he's telling her. Do they lie to the OW as well? Is he telling her that he can't imagine leaving me? That he loves me etc? Or do they only lie and treat the W like crap?

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I'm ready. Just need to sit down and draft the letter. Using the HR policy and procedure manual as suggested.


Good - don't stop now

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Is this worth all the trouble?


Yes - very much so, but a lot of work will have to been done first.

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Do they lie to the OW as well? Is he telling her that he can't imagine leaving me


Yup, they lie to everyone including themselves. Many times they tell the OP that their M is done and that the BS wants a D. They open their mouth - they lie.


M2L

ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06


Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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MelodyLane

FYI-

OW broke up her current husbands marriage about 10 years ago. Exact same situation. She had an affair with him, he left his wife, and now she's after my husband. Sounds like a real classy woman.

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I know they lie to everyone. I know that it is all fog talk, but is he lieing when he tells me he loves me and all the other good things that he's said like I think were going to make it? Do they lie about those things? Is he just playing me to just get me off his back? He's told me before that if he didn't love me that we would have been done long time ago.

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Ani...

Just jumping in to back the others in saying that YES, it's all the fog talk of an addict...Kill the affair, establish NC and you will see a changed man...And yes, it's most definitely worth it...And waywards lie to EVERYONE...It's in the script...

Get crackin' on the letter...NOW...Ready, Aim, FIRE...

Mrs. W

P.S. And yes, what a true class act OW is...NOT!!!


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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I know they lie to everyone. I know that it is all fog talk, but is he lieing when he tells me he loves me and all the other good things that he's said like I think were going to make it? Do they lie about those things? Is he just playing me to just get me off his back? He's told me before that if he didn't love me that we would have been done long time ago.

Ani...

He married you...You are his God chosen partner...Really it's best to ignore his words right now...Just concentrate on busting up this affair...

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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Trying to decipher the words of a wayward is crazy making...and pretty pointless...Imagine him as a crack addict, it is the same principle...

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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Nice to have the support from all you. This is an amazing website. Everyone keeps telling me to establish NC. My H has to do that. Do I just keep supporting him in finding another job? Do I tell him if NC then I implement Plan B. I know he won't NC until he has another job, he can't he reports to her. He states business only though. What next after the letter?

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Nice to have the support from all you. This is an amazing website. Everyone keeps telling me to establish NC. My H has to do that. Do I just keep supporting him in finding another job? Do I tell him if NC then I implement Plan B. I know he won't NC until he has another job, he can't he reports to her. He states business only though. What next after the letter?

Send the letter Ani, and let exposure work it's magic...You don't tell him about the plans here at all...Don't tell him about MB at all...DO NOT BRING HIM HERE...This is YOUR safe place where you will be establishing your battle plans...He needn't know any of this...You Plan A right up until you Plan B, and remember that Plan A includes exposure and you never do Plan B until you've done a COMPLETE Plan A...

When are you sending the letter?

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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Nice to have the support from all you. This is an amazing website. Everyone keeps telling me to establish NC. My H has to do that. Do I just keep supporting him in finding another job? Do I tell him if NC then I implement Plan B. I know he won't NC until he has another job, he can't he reports to her. He states business only though. What next after the letter?


Well, first I think you need to prepare yourself for the probably fallout of the exposure.

OW isn't going to like it.
WH isn't going to like it.

They are both going to be furious - even if there is no negative response from the company. Of course, we don't care about OW's fury.

But, you need to prepare yourself for your husband's possible response so that you aren't caught by surprise.

He may tell you that you just destroyed any chance for your marriage. That you've destroyed his career. That you've destroyed his life. That he can never forgive you. That things will never be the same.

Just about every BS here who exposed heard all that and more. And many of their marriage were saved.

We just need to make sure that you don't go all wobbly when he's in your face screaming it.

Maybe we could put together some suggested responses to the verbal volley you are almost sure to get.

My first suggestion would be to calmly repeat, "I am fighting for our marriage."

Repeated a million times if necessary. But not once do you collapse in an emotional heap wailing "I'm sorry!" So, maybe we can help get you butched up for the upcoming battle.

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You can say

"I understand your anger, but there is no room in our marriage for three people"


M2L

ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06


Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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When he yells, you whisper...Remain calm...

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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He already knows about MB. I bought the book about surviving an affair. We both have a copy and read and discuss it. He knows how affairs are started, how they should end etc. He has an appt with Steve on Monday, so do I. First time he actually accepted my advice on talking to him. I'm happy that he will at least call him.

I'm working on the letter this weekend. I need it to be perfect.

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I will remember to stay calm. I will remember the words you guys tell me to say.

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Has he visited the website/forums? Does he know that you are posting here and under what name? Please tell me no...

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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No. He knows ther is a website but I don't think he's ever been on it. I doubt he would ever bother to even look it up. Not sure if he knows the exact name.

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