There's another issue in our breakup. She has 2 children from her previous marriage. I'm very close to my stepson and not so much to my stepdaughter. I've said that I'd like to see them once a week maybe to take them out and do something and we've been doing that.

She's called me up a couple of times recently though, while I was in the gym or on the way there, to bail out the kids. once to let them in to her house when they were locked out and once to drop my stepson off at soccer. she couldn't do it because she had to work.

i'm thinking that next time i should carry on with what i'm doing and make her deal with this stuff. i told her this and she accused me of not being a parent to them.

again, this was a problem in our marriage - she thought that i should be closer to them and more of a father. again, it's a thing that i'd like to improve on if we get back together so i want to show her that things will be better if we get back together but OTOH i don't want to insulate her from the consequences of leaving me.

Uh, common complaint for women who are looking for a fight and where stepkids are involved. She is guilt tripping you now to get help.

Has she filed for divorce?

Larry

She hasn't filed for divorce yet - it costs ~$300 which she doesn't have. She says that she's finally finished filling in the papers and that she'll copy them for me.

So I guess it's coming soon...

I wonder now whether she's enjoying the power that she has over me right now...she felt that I controlled her during our marriage.

Just tell her to have her lawyer deliver them to your lawyer and hand them back to her. Tell you aren't interested in discussing divorce and make her do all the work. Whatever you do, don't cooperate. They usually don't even file. It is usually just talk to scare you into enabling them.