We met at our counseling appointment yesterday. There just wasn't much to say. He can't extract himself from the clutches of OW and this latest stint of him pretending reconcillation drained my love bank for him.

It's pretty sad, but I am not crying. More than anything, I am feeling that I now have a sense of relief. I have a much clearer picture of where my life is headed and I am happy without him in it. I don't mean for this to sound so cold, but I guess it's just not meant to be and I am not scared of my future. I am embracing it...
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Why give him back the ring?

oops, wrong post, sorry

Seriously, why on earth would you give him back the ring?!?

Now are you going to do a dark Plan B? Hope the skank doesn't pawn the ring.

No...I am not doing a dark Plan B. It's just over. I don't want the ring back. I told him to keep it for our oldest daughter.

It's just over and the divorce will go on...

And did you go out with Fisherman?

No...I did not.

I did not enter into the relationship with anyone else. I am on my own now and that is great with me.

That is probably better. In a way, it is a relief to quit trying. When I got to that point (where I just didn't give a d*mn anymore), it felt like a HUGE weight being lifted.

What was his response?

Really, I don't know. I gave him the ring, told him to keep it for our oldest daughter, and I walked out of the counseling session. It really doesn't matter what he thinks. He's so far back into the fog, it isn't funny. In addition, I am so worn out from trying. I am so tired from getting hurt. I spent the last two weeks really asking myself if putting myself through this pain and watching him disappear into the fog was worth it. I am not attracted to him anymore and he's been nothing but a source of grief. For awhile now, I have been sensing myself slipping away. Every little lie from him...all the evasiveness...all of the drama. I don't need it.

My life is coming together now.

I think I am ready to take the first major step on my own. I am looking at buying a different car. I am currently driving a Suburban and I put at least $80 a week in in for gas alone at about 10 miles/gallon. I found a Saturn L300 for sale for about $9000 and it gets 20-26 miles/gallon. I can't get rid of the Suburban right now because of the divorce proceedings, but I can swing the extra car payment and insurance per month on my own income and the extra money I will save in gas.

In addition, it's a bit more sporty and I believe that it will suit me fine. In addition, it has less miles than the Suburban and new tires. My daughter will start driving in a year and a half as well and it will be easier for her to learn in this vehicle as well. I will also be in a better place when she starts driving to accure a newer vehicle for myself and let her have the Saturn then.

I really want to do this for myself, but I will be prudent and check with my lawyer first.

OK...giving him back the wedding band was symbolic of calling out marriage quits. Today I went out and bought myself a used vehicle in my own name. This is symbolic for me as far as taking control of my own life and destiny now. I thought it over carefully and I had been driving a gas hog. I can't afford the gas in it. In what I will be saving in gas, the car will cost me less than $100 additional right now. When the gas hog is finally put in my name, I will be selling it outright.

I am so proud of myself. It's my life now and I have a car now in MY OWN NAME...

WOOT...Life is not ending...it's just beginning.

So did you get the Saturn? They are nice cars. I've never met anyone who had one that didn't like it.

I know how you feel. I lost respect for my WH and that was that. I was done.

Yes...I did get the car. It's in my driveway. I am so happy. I love the zip of it. When you punch the gas, you go. WWWWWEEEEEEEEE!

More good news... I am working as a temp right now, but now the president of the company has given his approval to hire me. The wheels are turning and my life is moving on...

WOOT!

Life just continues to get better...

The job is going great! Love the new car as well. Plus, I met a gentleman for drinks the other night and when he gets back from a business trip, he would like to call me. Life is wonderful. I don't expect anything to come of this, but it's nice to feel like you are once again attractive to men...

Life is good. It feel like such a relief to have moved on...

You sound like me. I was so worn out and dejected that it just felt good to be RID of WH. After 3 years of rejection, it was WONDERFUL to be around someone who WANTED to be with me. And since then, there have been LOTS of men who want to be around. And I'm old and poor.

I don't really understand why I am so happy. It's such a relief. Things ARE looking up. My life is turning around. I am so much stronger. I have cried so much already. All the tears are done with. There is nothing left but looking ahead to my own future and it's looking brighter and brighter every day.

Everything happens for a reason... Maybe this was meant to be...