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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 79
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 79 |
No matter how bad it gets between you and your spouse, you'll have to try to set your differences aside and agree on how you will break the news to them, especially the choice of words. Tell them as a couple, and be fair with each other; if both can manage it, don't play the blame game in front of them.
It's also important for you to be honest, and not give them any false hopes...keep in mind your children's ages...it'll be hard to tell them no matter how old they are. Stay calm, and try not to be too emotional while you're telling them, as it may upset them more, os frighten them.
Most importantly, they need to understand that your reasons for separating or divorcing have nothing to do with them.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107 |
Tell them as a couple, and be fair with each other; if both can manage it, don't play the blame game in front of them.
Says who ?
One spouse destroys the family with the choice to have an affair and the faithful spouse is supposed to help protect them from the consequence of blame by the kids ?
How can more lies help heal the kids ? Their hurt is a consequence of the affair , no ?
Pressure on my FWW by the kids added hugely to her ending her affair.
MB Alumni
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069 |
PassionPeach,
Please do yourself a favor. Read and educate yourself on the Harley's principles before you start offering advice on their boards.
Thank you,
Jo
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,300
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,300 |
Yeah, give the WS just what they want, right? Don't let the consequences of their actions fall on them. Heaven forbid! Hey, why not just do what my MIL did and tell the world that the BS TURNED their kids against the WS. That way they're in the clear.
Sheesh, PP. Go spout this crock of hooey to the TOW people. They'll be happy to buy it over there.
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,037
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,037 |
My soon to be ex wife flat out lied to DS and told him I abandoned them after she dropped me off in the middle of nowhere.
Now he hates me and SHE is the one who destroyed our family.
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,300
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,300 |
Paraih,
Not to worry, your DS will learn the truth one day. He'll resent his mother for having taken his father away.
Are you trying to get visitation through the courts?
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