Well then.

I went to school and failed yet another test (you have to get 80s on your tests in nursing school to pass and I got a 68). I told the professor what was going on. She's like, 'We have to do something or you will have to withdraw before Monday..' Hopefully she can help me out. I told her I couldn't not finish.

I may leave stuff out here because I'm in shock. I'll fill it out once I remember.

So, I come home and WS is home with the girls. He waited for me outside and we talked. Well, I listened anyway. He hugged me for awhile. He hasn't touched me in weeks, so that was odd. Basically, he told me he thinks he is coming home. To leave the light on for him. He asked if he came back if I was going to stop spazzing out about everything. I calmly let him know we both have things to work on. I asked him why he wanted to come home and didn't he love her? He said yes, but it just didn't feel right. (Oh and that she might be pregnant. God, I hope not.. I am very glad, however, I got my std tests done). So, he's over at her house talking to her right now.

What an unexpected change of events. Scary thing is, I'm not sure if I want him home. I mean, I do, but what's next for us? Aren't I supposed to make him sign a No Contact letter? Should I let him come home?

Welcome Gwyneffar's sister. It is not good that the family doesn't like him. But I hope you will support your sister in whatever she decides to do.

Gwyneffar - Take your time in deciding what to do. I would definitely concentrate on school, and try figure out how to pass. That is a must.

The OW might be pregnant, and that is a whole different can of worms. Sometimes they use that excuse to try to hold onto a man, but sometimes they are. Then you have a whole lot of decisions to make. I would definitely take it slow and easy.

Hi there Gwyn:

Let's see, he wants you to "stop spazzing out about everything" -- but everything includes him rattling your can by leaving home to stay with an OW, dragging your kids into the mess, threatening to join the merchant marines, threatening to leave you with debt, trying to force dramatic confrontation between you and the OW .... while you are PREGNANT, and IN SCHOOL, and SICK!

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!

Honestly, Gwyn, this whole "she might be pregnant" thing REALLY reads like QueenBee/MeanGirl drama to me. This OW is aching, aching, ACHING to amp up the drama around the relationship, and to involve YOUR emotions! She does this because

1) For her the drama is fun;
2) The more people involved in her drama, the more fun it will be;
3) It entitles her to think she could show your husband how inappropriately hysterical you are over seeming trivialities, while she thinks she's providing a raft of comfort and appeal. (I don't think your feelings are inappropriate, I'd be coming totally unglued and I admire your resolve!)

HOWEVER: From your husbands "stop spazzing out" remark, I'd bet that this is (brace yourself) something that he whines to the OW about (even though he sets up most of the drama himself). So, the more frenzy she can create, from her POV, the better.

The best response is exactly what you did: Calm, quiet resolve. This does NOT mean letting him off the hook, and it does NOT mean "cake eating" on his part -- he does not get to keep both of you!

So.........

1) Get that attorney. Ask your family (that doesn't like the husband) to HELP.
2) Send the letter, with copies sent to head of hospital, and supervising administrators, as you've been directed.
3) Take care of yourself FIRST AND FOREMOST! This includes
a) Your health
b) Your schooling

Regarding having to move -- In most places, renters can't just be bumped out of their home just because the owner is selling. Get more information about that and as you've been advised -- GET AN ATTORNEY -- even if it's free legal aid! Legal Aid is great for this stuff!

He does NOT love her. That's just part of the fog. As for letting him come home, I personally (now that I know better) would make it a condition that he send a no contact letter (he writes it, you mail it) FIRST (and that means no contact for life) and get into counseling. I would STILL consult an attorney about your options and follow through with the exposure.

He will NOT respect you if you just allow him to waltz back into your life and home without doing any of the work. If he's serious, he'll do whatever it takes.

No more updates?

Well, there's nothing new really going on. After last night when he said he might be coming home - he never did, of course, and did not call me all day today. My eldest DD called him to say goodnight and she told me that he told her to tell me that he loved me. I was like, "Are you sure that's what he said?". Now she's not sure what he said, so whatever.

My professor called me and let me know that there should be a chance I can still pass since I'm not the only one having that issue, anyway. I just need to get my head screwed on straight, it seems.

Concentrate on passing. It is what you need to do now. I'm sure hubby will be back. He must be having problems with the OW. Haha. Hopefully she isn't pregnant.

Take care of yourself and what you need to do. You will hear more from him.

Well, day two of no contact.. I don't know what the ****** is going on, I must have lost the page of the script somewhere. He didn't even want to come see the kids today - he said he would and then he canceled. My eldest DD called him numerous times today and he was too 'busy'. When he finally did talk to her he said he was off in another town and he wouldn't be able to come tonight. (He's supposed to be somewhere near here, at least that's what he told my father in law) I know the OW is with him and she's not welcome at my father-in-law's so perhaps that is why he didn't come. He's supposed to be with his friends - my friends, who haven't talked to me either in all this time. But I ask, why did he give me all that bull about coming home and being there for me and then doing this? It hurts. I've cried for like an hour now and I know I need to be strong and get over it, but it hurts so much. My daughter and I haven't gotten along well either because we're just so stressed. I try to understand people and I know I am not supposed to understand WS spaceshiphead.. but geeze.

hey gwyn ... count your blessings on you father in law.

My dear in laws rolled out the red carpet for OW!

Lovely people.

Well, my father in law is also the one who is telling me to get over it and let my kids see the OW since there's nothing I can do..

I don't know anymore. I swear I was okay all week and now I'm an emotional mess. You know how pregnant women get really weird dreams? Last night mine was pretty bad: the OW showed up to my house, shot me in the stomach, and killed the baby. I woke up then and couldn't go back to sleep and everything has been off kilter all day. When he called my daughter (on her phone, which is why I knew he was going to get her one - so he didn't have to talk to me) and told him he loved her and my younger daughter, I just broke down and cried again.

You are on what we call the rollercoaster. It is NOT fun. You need to keep from getting your hopes up. Don't believe ANYTHING he says, watch for what he does. I'm sure he will be back, but right now he is cake-eating some more. Lots of them do, but chances are still best for him to come home to you.

I hope you take very good care of yourself and your children and baby. I hope that you can pull out the school thing. But the most important thing right now is your health.

I would right down the dream and put it in your journal.

The rollercoaster keeps on chugging along eh? I was up all last night throwing up and all throughout the day I couldn't keep anything down. I saw the doctor and she finished my std blood work (which I learned my insurance won't cover it all, but I don't care). She said if I needed her to be the bad guy during delivery and kick WS out, she would be happy to. She wrote me a note about tomorrow since I should be home resting, not trying to do clinicals. I called my professor and he gave it the okay. All this time I'm at father-in-law's house..

WS's best friend, wife, and little boy came over and I tried to ask him about what WS said about the affair, but he wouldn't get into it. Then WS showed up and continuously disrespected me and EVERYONE saw it. See, I knew it wasn't my imagination. There is a party at my friend's house tomorrow and I wasn't invited, he said, because they didnt' want any drama. He's bringing the OW with him. He said some other things that were way out of line, but he's an idiot..

Supposedly last night the best friend and his wife went out and WS brought OW with him, not telling anyone, so they got to all enjoy her 'company'. Best friend told WS that he is not going to hang out with him and his new girlfriend and say the affair is okay. No one likes what WS is doing, he told me. That helped me feel a little bit better. They are going to help me out as much as they can because they couldn't imagine what going through this ****** is like.

While we were there OW kept text messaging WS over and over. It got really annoying. Then he went to pick her up from the store, but had to take her home, of course, since she isn't welcome over at the inlaw's house. He decided to take my eldest DD along no matter what I said. She proceeded to tell WS about the bad dream I had and he came back and chewed me out saying an 8 year old doesn't need to hear about my sadistic dreams. I kindly reminded him an 8 year old didn't need to be around a homewrecker. It was LB all around, however, I don't even see how in the world I could pull off a plan A being sick, hormonal, and disrespected like I was. I guess I need to try harder.

Oh, I'm so sorry. No, I don't think you need to try harder. It might be better just to avoid him if he is going to be so disrespectful toward you.

Sorry you are not feeling well. Please try to take good care of yourself. Even the clinicals can wait. You want to be sure to have a healthy baby.

Sadly your hubby is just embarrassing himself. It does sound like OW is very insecure. GOOD. I hope she starts love busting him.

When is your baby due? Line up someone that can fill in for hubby just in case. It has been our experience here that usually the wayward husband DOES get it together in time for labor and delivery. But just in case, be prepared. We even had one WH who brought his OW to the parking lot of the hospital while his wife was giving birth.

My baby is due 9/9, of course also my wedding anniversary. Of course everyone is betting I won't last that long. Hopefully long enough to bring my son into the world without too many problems. I have WS's dad and WS's best friend (the one mentioned before) there for me if I go into labor. They reminded me about that tonight, actually. To call them and not bother calling WS. We'll see if WS gets his head out of his rear. Yes, he is definitely being ridiculous about things. Makes me wish I had a video recorder all the time so he can watch it later.

OW is super insecure obviously. I never was a person to call WS unless I needed to talk to him since I knew he was working and it is rude to bother him. From what I heard she calls him all day at work and won't let him go anywhere by himself. She makes me sick to my stomach.

gwyn

I agree with believer. Best to avoid him right now. I'm actually impressed that while pregnant, sick and hormonal-you only called the OW a 'homewrecker'.

I was going to comment about OW sending tm's all the time while your WH was at your FIL. The thought that came into my head was "how junior high". I guess insecure works too.

Have you been sick the whole time, or is this just from the stress? I'm concerned about you being sick so far along. Anyway, I would really try to relax and not get involved in all of the drama.

You only have to do this for around 42 more days. It seems like forever, but will go real fast.

This new throwing up everything, fever, tiredness 'sickness' per se is a new thing. Started like 3 days ago. It's probably a stomach bug that was made worse from the stress. The other sick stuff has to do with my lost hearing and vertigo.

I wanted to avoid him. I still do actually. Unfortunately a friend of mine had a birthday party last night and I really felt I should go. WS told me I wasn't invited, but I know why now - because he brought the OW with him! I can't believe he had the audacity. He's shoving her down everyone's throat now. My daughter ran to her and told her off, so quick I didn't know what happened (WS went on to her why she should respect OW. I told him I'd handle it).. then somehow we made WS mad enough he left, with OW calling me a loser on the way out (I let her know she was a little witch, however). They came back later on. It was awkward. It hurt so badly. Why did I come? I apologized to my friend for being a wreck. I didn't start a scene. I just pulled WS aside to find out what the deal was for today. He wanted to take both of the girls to OW's house. I said no and took the little one home. It's all I can really do. I gave him the wedding band back, too. I KNOW I should be doing plan A, but you know? I feel like giving up right now. As much as I love him, as much as I want him home, I don't want him like this.

This morning he asked for his truck keys back. I did something childish and said no, that I loved the truck and that OW wasn't going to get to drive it. Oh well. Life minus me, eh? I was sick all day at the hospital, but I got through it. I need to just forget about him. Like it is some easy task. When I called him to see where the girls were so I could pick them up I asked him if he wanted me to pack the rest of his things. He told me he would come get them next weekend when he knew what was going on and where he was going to be. I wish I knew. Lord, I wish I knew.


--
I know I need to keep trying plan A. I was just never a great personal cheerleader. WS's best friend told me to just hang tight, it'll get better. He's right. Now to get these hormones in control already.

Wow, the skanky OW calling your husband's pregnant wife a loser - that's a new low. Your husband is embarrassing himself.

I know you are going through so much pain and perhaps needed to vent, but I think that dream is definitely TMI ("too much information") to be recounting to an 8 year old.

I know, I realize that and have been careful just to have her relay her fears to me and keep my stuff to myself.. trying to be a strong force.

I went to school to take a test today, so I dropped the girls off at his work so he could watch them as he always does. He followed me out to the car and chit chat - me being plan A goodness - and he let me know to start looking for an apartment. Moving in the next 3 to 6 months. Do what? All righty then.

So, I left school and drove back so I called to see if they were home and he let me know he drove to "his" home without thinking about it and is making them dinner and will bring them back when they are done eating. He's already calling the OW woman's house "his" home.. it's only been 2 weeks. God, how that hurts.