Hi everyone,<P>As I posted last time, my H had told me he would be "working late" on Monday nite. And he did. While I was frantically trying to find clever ways to "catch" him in a lie - I know he's still with OW, I didn't do anything about it. I did call him at the office, but only got voicemail. So I paged him. He did call me back, but I can't help the feeling in my gut that I don't think he was really working. I called him again later, around 8:30pm or so, and again no answer in his office, just the voicemail. So, again I paged. When he called back, he kept telling me he was "at work" but I can't shake this feeling about being lied to. He said he'd be home around 9:30 or 10:00, but didn't get home until after 11:00pm. I waited up for him and asked him where he had been to which he of course answered "at work". I just feel like saying, liar, liar, liar... I have no proof, just think it's a woman's instint. Any suggestions of how to find out the truth? Asking him directly for an honest answer will get me nowhere.

Hi Tired<P>Do you have *69 Telephone option to verify the phone# he did return your call from?<P>Might also want to look into a phone TAP, cheap, easy and discreet....<P>Good Luck<BR>_____________________________________________<BR>"Better to die on my feet than live on my knees"

Hi Tired Lady,<P>Trusting your H right now is obviously out of the question. If the not knowing is driving you crazy, as it surely seems to be, why not physically check up on him? I would have been over there in a second after the first unanswered phone call. That's just me of course. If you really want to know whether he is there or not, and if so, if he's doing what he's supposed to, then you should seriously consider driving to his work. Not everyone agrees with this type of behavior, but you have every right to do it. Then you wouldn't have to drive yourself crazy over it, it's not doing you any good.<P>I don't know what you can do about last night, since the opportunity of catching him doing something, is gone. But, you should seriously consider doing what I said in the future. Asking him, or falsely accusing him of being up to no good, is only going to make matters worse. Besides, you won't get an honest answer anyway. <P>Anyhow, no wonder you're a tired lady. Worrying like this will take years away from your life. Is it worth it?<P>------------------<BR>The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.<BR>Helen Keller

I have to agree with Distrusting. If you really feel, deep down, that he is still cheating. Try to catch him. It is probably the only way that you are going to feel better. Go to his work. When he calls you back...say I have to call you right back (fo whatever reason)....tell him to be sitting by the phone. etc.

toronto & distrusting:<BR>Thanks for your reply. Yes I do have *69 option. However, the phones at his work are all blocked, security issue, plus it's at least an hour plus drive from our home so it wouldn't be able to call return even if the lines weren't blocked. The OW's phone is also blocked, and I'd get the same recording as she also lives the same distance from our house. I have been calling her house at random just to memorize her voice on the answering machine. I'm being obsessive I know, and my H saw the phone bills with her # on them and was pretty angry that I was calling there and just hanging up. He thinks I should just let it go. How can I do that if I still believe they are together? He doesn't confirm nor deny anything. I AM a "tired lady". Tired of all the lies and untruths. Anyone else been here? And if so, how do you deal with this?

I did some checking, it didn't do me a lot of good, but it did put pressure on my H because he no longer knew what I would check on. And of course, now I know he resumed his affair through a phone call from someone who saw him with her. I believe that was the result of prayer.<P>If you have to call her and it is going to show on your bill, use a phone card & call from a pay phone. Wait a bit in case she *69 so nobody answers and describes you and your car. Not that I've done it, but that is how I would .

Tired Lady -- Another option for bypassing the blocked calls to consider . . .Where I live, I can "refuse" blocked calls. If someone wants to call me from a blocked number they must first enter a code which then dispalys the phone number on my callerID. It might be worth checking into.<P>God Bless