My wife was jsut diagnosed with severe depression. In time between telling me, and going to the Dr, she talked to her best friend, and her sister in law. I had already spoken to both of them, so we have a good relationship and they know evertyhting that is going on. Well, to make a long story short, I came out and asked her if she had an affair, and she said no, but she said she had thought about it. I asked if it was someone she works with or someone she just saw, and she said it was someone she comes in contact with from time to time. She then refused to tell me who, where she comes in contact, how they met, anyhting about him. She just kept saying, it was embarassing, and that it doesn't matter because nothing happened, etc. I let it go, and then spoke with my sister in law and vented. She told me that she said she had thought about it, but nothing happened. Her best friend said the same thing... that yes, she said she had thought about it, but didn't do anyhting. I'm trying to figure out why she would tell everyone she DIDN"T have and affair, but go out of her way to NOT tell me anyhting about this person. Is she keeping it quiet for if she decides to have one? I don't understand the thinking on this. Is this part of her depression? I am pretty messed up over this, and for some reason, I am hurt, but she gets pissed every time I bring it up like I don't have the right to feel like I do. Any thoughts?

First look at how your relationship is with your wife right now. We are all vulnerable to having feelings and being attracted to someone else at one point or the other in life. The fact she did not react to this person and actually have an affair shows she used good judgment and put your marriage above any emotional feelings she might have had for this person. I do believe she should try very hard to not have any contact with this person, though. I also feel she answered you truthfully when you asked her about it and you should be happy she didn't lie to you. Perhaps she thought you would become upset if she did tell you about her attraction to this person. You two should sit down and discuss the issue; turn to each other with love and affection and let it be over. Also, tell her she can always turn to you and tell you anything she is feeling so she knows she has a safe place to communicate. She must stop any contact with this person, though as it is temptation.