Hello Again,<P>It's been a long time since I have started a thread. Some of you may remember my story. I've been alone now for about 8 weeks. I have my good days and my bad days. My W says she still wants a divorce, but has not filed for lack of funds. The kids are OK. I can tell they are having their own hard times with this situation. They do not want to talk about it with me or W. My 18 year old daughter is re-thinking all the things we taught her. Her value system is in jeopardy. My 20 year old son missed the semester deadline and is sitting this one out, literally. He says he is looking for a job while working his old job on weekends only (seasonal). I saw my W today for the first time in a month. We were at a mutual friends funeral service. Sat next to each other and exchanged pleasantries. It was very difficult meeting old friends and explaining the separation. This did not happen in front of her, but after she left. They were all supportive and may indeed be helpful.<P>I have been working on myself, joined the fitness center at work, playing softball, reading, etc. I have gained a new appreciation for country music. I am seeing a counselor occasionally. I still have not found a support group. I guess that's why I'm back. I need to hear some encouragement. 7Habits came to me from Stephen Covey's book. I am rediscovering some very good truths there and have begun to implement them. Changing for the better.<P>------------------<BR>7Habits (Dane)<BR>"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." Einstein.<BR>

It seems that you are beginning to put the peices of your life back together. Staying busy keeps your mind away from the pain that these situations bring. I wish you the best.

Thanks Robilar,<P>I just read your new thread and replied.<BR>It may look like things are together. Perhaps it's the way I try to put a positive spin on things. This is the worst time of my life. Actually, the worst time was about a month ago. What I found is that I have incredible anger at my W for not wanting to try to make this work after so long of a marriage. We met at a friend's funeral yesterday. First time we saw each other in over 1 month. We sat with each other and with our daughter. It was good, but uncomfortable. It made me realize that I do not want to be at the end of my life alone and without her. But I have no choice in the matter. I cannot force her to want me.<P>Any other comments? From anyone?<P>------------------<BR>7Habits (Dane)<BR>"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." Einstein.<BR>

7habits, Someone once told me that marriage is just a state of mind. It sounds to me that you still want to be in that state of mind, but she doesn't or isn't . My suggestion is to try to remember everything that you had done in the past to (when you two were new) to put her in that state of mind and slowly try to bring those feelings to her. It may make her remember why she wanted to marry you in the first place. <BR>I hope that this helps. My thoughts are with you and everyone suffering here.<P>------------------<BR><BR>That Which does not kill us makes us stronger.<BR>

Robilar, <P>That's a task that is not easy. It seems when I try to show interest it pushes her away. She is getting into new things and involved with new people. They seem to be taking her time away from family and our marriage situation. She feels better without any contact with me. It's pretty hard to fight that situation. We were 21 and 19 when we were married. The things we did then would not work now. We have changed and are different people. I'm really at a loss as to how to get her interest back, other than getting myself back together and making it work for me. Any suggestions?<P>------------------<BR>7Habits (Dane)<BR>"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." Einstein.<BR>

7Habits...<P>What Robilar said....<P>It sounds like you are going towards the right direction for putting your life together. Just keep coming here for support. I know it helps me.<P>Good luck to you. I know you can do it!

Thanks for the thoughts, No Trust. I appreciate the response. Another night when it's hard to sleep. As the prophet once said, "How long, O Lord?"<P>------------------<BR>7Habits (Dane)<BR>"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." Einstein.<BR>