Ok, now I'm really confused. My husband had a session with the counselor alone, where they tried together to get to the bottom of his one night stand. (see my early post - "Should I be this angry/sad") She's been telling him that in order to move on he needs to accept responsibility for his actions that night. Accept that he did it becuase he wanted to, and then he can move on.
Long story short, the more they talked about his feelings, actions during and after the "encounter," she thinks he may have been the victim of a sexual assault. We did some reading and based on his reactions during (describing it as an attack, feeling like he wasn't there, only seeing bits and pieces) and his reactions after (running away from her, washing himself with Comet, his sleeping patterns and the way he has blocked it out, convincing himself that it didn't happen) his actions and views about it are consistent with a man who has been assaulted by a woman. Apparently, it is possible his body was reacting even though he didn't want to cheat with her. He has maintained this from the beginning, that he didn't want it, didn't want her. Couldn't see anything but pain, fear and shame looking back.
Here's my new problem. I still feel betrayed. I am trying to understand how a 100 lb woman can take advantage of a 200 lb man. There are definitely stories out there that sound very much like what happened to my husband. He even has trouble understanding what could make him dissassociate long enough to do something like this, but he says that it makes sense, given how he feels about the entire thing. Am I totally stupid for wanting to believe this?
