(((Bugs)))

Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. He's showing his true WH colors (what an [censored]).
Hang in there honey.

Still

Yep. I agree with Fiat. Yep, you do not want him to know that he has gotten to you.

Also, YOU want to leave the option open for RECOVERY. Yes, he definitely should be ASHAMED but not SHAMED.

I agree with Mimi and Fiat. If you're graceful about it, he will probably feel ashamed. If you try and shame him, he'll just try and justify his actions.

I wouldn't even include the last piece...

Would simply write, "My number will be changing soon, and in the meantime my old number is not working. I'll let you know when the new number is available."

If WH gets wind you aren't happy, or that his latest antics bothered you, ruffled you, he will know he got to you, and his antics may get worse...

Morning Bugs, LMAO...I see that you are dealing with some of the same kind of stuff that I am...

Sweetie, I know it's frustrating and hard to keep your wit about you but you are doing a great job!

Soon enough, like you said, life will calm down...being dark really helps get a good picture of who they really are huh?

Such a shame!!!

((((BUGS))))

Thanks everyone for helping me through the emotional blip last night.

After a nice bath, a couple glasses (ok 4 glasses) of wine, an ENTIRE box of Girl Scout cookies (Samoas!), and some rest, I feel much better this morning. I am proud of the fact that even after 4 glasses of wine, I did not give in to the urge to call him!

While I like and appreciate some of the great suggestions above, I have decided that the Ultimate Darkness is the ONLY way to proceed today. I am not going to send out any notice or email in reference to my phone being shut off. A few select people at work know about it, so I am certain that it will eventually get out and around without my having to do anything. My conversation with the select few has not been my expressing outrage, but I kept it in a tone of amazement, even joking around about it. i just commented that I sure don't understand why he would find it necessary to do this. I am letting it go at that.

Now, I had written this paragraph above when the greatest thing happened. Drac's boss came walking into my office. We chatted about some work stuff. Turns out he's going to see a customer along with one of the guys in this office. Just so happens that this is one of the guys who knows about the phone and satellite being shut off. I KNOW he'll share that tidbit with the boss. I've known the boss for quite some time (BTW- he's not MY boss). Knowing him, he will EVENTUALLY get around to mentioning it to Drac.

I am just sitting here laughing out loud at the wonderful things God does when I really let go of something like this. I was on my knees last night telling Him I needed help in letting go and letting HIM work His Plan in His Way and in His Time. I know this is a seemingly small thing, but for me, it affirms that this is the ONLY way for me to deal with everything in my life.

I did email my attorney to let her know about it. At this point, it's so close to my move that I really don't care. It just gives me one more fact in my arsenal for court. Like Rin's POWS, I am going to let him dig his own hole.

Now, unfortunately, there was a Drac Sighting this morning. I was driving to work and he passed me going the other way with DSS in the car. I thought at first that maybe he was just taking him to the sitter and that he had MOVED, as this would not be a normal place for him to be at that time of the morning. Turns out, he had taken DSS to try to register him for school. He didn't realize that registration is from 1pm to 7pm. Apparently he's coming back to pick him up at 1pm from the sitter to take him to register. THAT is also really silly,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,why not do it after work? Now he's driving 1 hour to work, 1 hour back to get DSS, and then another hour BACK to work. Oh what was I thinking?? There CAN'T be any infringement on HO night by spending time with and taking care of his son!!

I am GLAD to know that DSS will be going to school there and that for now, he'll be living close to family, including FIL at least for a while. I think it is good for him to have some type of consistency in his life, what little there can be. We know Drac will be continuing on the ho focus, so DSS will be dumped off. At least it will be with family.

hey,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Only 23 hours to the closing!!! WHOO HOOO!!!!

I agree with your totaly darkness plan and God provided.
Amazing!

Grace and Dignity -- best way to travel the high road!
WTG Bugs!

Now -- get DD a cell phone.

Drac needs to never dial your number, or text your phone.
Its a violation of Plan B. When you use it to contact him, it sends a message to him that you've loosened up that method of communication and now he can call DD on your phone. Any time he wants -- and he will.

So nip that in the bud, girl. You don't need the trigger of seeing his number on your phone.

WOW! This is the BEST DECISION, IMO. I thought maybe you were REQUIRED to say something about it to your colleagues so I didn't suggest this.



EXACTLY! You are speaking of HAVING FAITH... which is how I also lead my life, Bugs.



<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Lexxx & Mimi,

How are my fellow Goddesses today?

Lexxx, yes. Cell phone for DD is on my To Do list today. I HAD been using DSS's phone as The Designated contact phone. Then Drac insisted that it stay w/DSS full time. Don't even get me started on how retarded that all is!

There is no way for Drac to TM, remember, I shut off that service on my phone! Doing that probably helped trigger him in shutting off the home phone! LOL!

Mimi, I DO need to inform collegues and management of changes like this, but as I am getting a new number (hopefully today), I decided to wait and just put it through as a Change and not acknowledge Drac's action in any way.

Hmmmm, what will the ho night conversation be about? NOT anything about what Bugs has done! Of course he can always just make up a lie. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />:).

I'm here! Shining, are you?

Hey Rin!

Yes, I am So Dark that I AM shining!

17 hrs 45 minutes to house closing! How could I be anything but happy?!?

ALLRIGHT YODA!!....wait, Yoda's taller. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Hey BC!

It's a Goddess thing, not Star Wars! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Besides, didn't you learn the lesson of Master Yoda? When it come to THE FORCE, size doesn't matter!

Can't wait to hear what you are going to do with THAT thought! Hehe!

Picked up the kids from the sitter.

Drac informed DD to tell me to send he cowboy hat and a 'cool' outfit for the concert he is taking her to tomorrow. I thought he would be kind enough to get her a new outfit. Ticks me off, as if I would not know to send something NICE, cool & appropriate for her. I would never to that to HER!

He apparently came back in the middle of the day and got DSS registered for school. He told DSS that he should go out for football. DSS is NOT interested in sports & never has been. When he told me what his dad said, I replied, 'that's Great, but what do YOU want?'.

He replied 'I don't know. If we want to do this I need a physical by next Thurs'. I told him to talk to his Dad about that. IF DSS REALLY wanted to do this, I would make it happen, but I know he is only considering it to make Drac happy, just like he did with baseball a few yrs ago.

Now to the BEST part. Drac tells sitter, 'well since she won't talk to me and she talks to Everyone else, including you, will you ask her if I can drop DSS off at the house to catch the school bus?'

Sitter told him she did not want to be in the middle of things. When he commented about she & I talking, she told him, 'I consider her a friend and I WILL keep talking to her '. Drac did not like that.

He also told her that I could npt register DD for school without HIM!?! What? So, I finally came out and told her DD IS registered for school and starts Wed. I will not be here for DSS to catch the bus. Drac does not want me as a full time mom, he only wants me as a sitter when it is convenient for Drac.

I told her that Drac knows the 'approved' method for contacting me about the kids. He needs to use it. Also, he will be getting a letter from my A about the move and school.

I think Drac is really liking Plan B. Going for the 'poor me, she won't talk to me even about the kids'. Everyone just looks at him like 'what? I wouldn't talk to you either!'

Well, I have been awake for an hour and finally decided just to get up, as sleep is not going to happen again this morning!

4 hours 15 minutes until the closing! I am not feeling nervous, just have so much 'stuff' in my head that I can't sleep.

Am going to go ahead and shower, get ready. Need to paint my toe nails. Then am going to go ahead and pack up the computer and take it to my parent's house today.

After closing, will go to the water dept to take care of water, sewer & trash service. Then, Mom & I are going to pick up a wicker table & chairs she found on clearance for my screened in porch!

Hope to get a nap in this afternoon - am going to the concert myself tonight with a friend. Hope I do not run into Drac & DD there. Would love to see her having a good time, but don't want to see him!

BUGS,
I love the last sentence about how you won't talk to him, but will talk to everyone else and when he makes that statement to others they just look at him like "what do you expect, you alien". LOL I have no idea what Drac looks like, but I just invision the typical WS with that stupid look of amazement on his face.

WS are soooo clueless. "How could me leaving my wife, destroying my family, carrying on with the HO, making selffish demands, thinking only of my own happiness.....just how could that lead to Bugs not wanting to talk to me, not wanting to be my friend, not wanting to give me her blessing? Oh, I just don't understand her".

POOR OBLIVIOUS DRAC!!!! IDIOT THINKING !!!

Questions Alien Drac will ask himself:

"What do you mean she's already registered?"

"What do you mean you won't be there when I drop DSS off to catch the bus?"

"What do you mean you're moving on with your life without even considering me?"

"You mean you won't be at my beck and call?"

It's all about you, DD, and what you can do for DSS, now. The Alien Drac is on his own. Best of luck with the closing.

Jaded,

You described his look and attitude right now perfectly!

Yes, he is clueless right now. Hope the darkness will eventually give him the opportinity reaquaint himself with reality!

2 hrs to closing!

Bugs:

You are getting so strong. Your faith is getting you there. The more we trust in God the more he helps us.
I heard a sermon today, and in it it said that we can say the prayer to accept Jesus, but you are not truly saved until you call out and trust in the Lord with all your heart.

I swear my eyes were opened, and I was thanking God. Is this why I feel so great now, even though my life is upside down and I'm clinging to the handles of the ride holding on?

We have to remember it's not our battle with our husbands, it's Gods. We have to make sure we don't do it our way, but His way. We are to step back and watch.

Guess that is a major part of your Plan B. It is now God's time for HIM to work in your husband. Step back, and watch God mold him out of the clay. He will have to pound him some, which I think we all would love to watch.... But God will only bring us the best, and right now they are not the best for us.

With that said, I'd give you scripture for the day, but I'm tired. We had major storms here in PA last night. I took 8 inches of water in the basement. What's funny is I just said the day before to my friend, I should put my husband's collectables in the basement incase I would ever get flooded. I was only teasing, but I got flooded. Was out til Midnight last night digging the ditch to divert the water away from my house. THen til 3 am working in the basement. I am doing laundry now, because all my nicely folded clothes that I didn't carry upstairs got soaked. I only have maybe 3 more loads, but work calls.

I did take time from the basement for the sermon, and now to pray. God will get us all through this.

One thing I did realize...The vows we said, til death due us part....death did seperate us....

Romans 8:

6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.


Our husbands are spiritually dead. If for some chance God has something greater for us, and he shows us, we should not be upset. We would not want Satan coming to us, tempting us and taking over our lives. THANK God we LIVE !!! I now have peace knowing this, I can still pray for my husband, but I know now, that by us trying to communicate with the WS we communicate with Satan. We don't want to join lives with Satan. We want to wait til our husbands are re-aquainted with the Lord, and our husbands are returned to the good side.

Dance for Joy, Shout for Joy and Praise God. We Live and We know that we will inherit the Kingdom of heaven. We have nothing to worry about. Our strife takes our focus off of the Lord, So let's all remember the first step is to turn to God, then turn to each other for help.

God bless you today, tomorrow and for the rest of our eternity.

Bugs:

Your sitter said it best: "she did not want to be in the middle of things"

Smile to the sitter and ask her "how was DD today? Let's not talk about Drac."

Drac is Drac. You need to cut yourself off from that avenue of info as well.

It's amusing to listen, and know more about him, but, that just makes your journey longer.

As for football for DSS?

Whether Drac made "Him sign up or not" Your role is support. DSS has been and never has been interested in sports? That can change.

My DS went out for the football team this year, just announced it at the dinner table one night. Blew us both away.

So, support him. As much as you can. Do not make it a power struggle. The only one who will lose is DSS. And you are the only one who is looking out for him. But you need to show DSS support on this one. No more "What do you want to do?" questions. Tell him that you will help him succeed
no matter which choice he makes. Big difference.

Does that sound harsh? Yes it is.

But DSS is the one in the middle of the power struggle. Remember that.

Enjoy your new house.

LG