Well good.
Affairs are always volatile!
And it shows you how effective Plan B is! When the pressure is on her to meet all his needs and make up for what he is losing, what happens? They "break-up".
Boo hoo.

Regardless of their status, Drac is still Drac. So until he faces his problems (within himself) he won't be ready for YOU. So no change to your plan.

You want H back, not WH. He's got work to do...

The fact that he attended the class speaks for his intentions. To tell DD that they broke up could just be a ploy. Or it could be the truth. Either way, he still DRAC at this point. When H slays DRAC, you'll know.

Good morning!

Yes, as much as I would love to be happy and hopeful that they did really break up and that it is a good sign for my M, I know it's not.

Is it possible that Drac could get through withdrawl and my H might emerge from the fog? I hope so!

As you said, Meggy, his taking the class clearly shows that Ho or No Ho, he is intent on finalizing the D. THIS is what hurts right now.

As I said last night, this is likely just more drama that I need not be a party to. It doesn't change anything at this point in time, unfortunately


I pulled out the latest parenting agreement before having Drac notified about labor day. Turns out that the schedule WE have been doing (he had Memorial Day which is Group B, I had 4th of July which is Group A) is Opposite of what was put in the last plan. It states I have B and he has A.

Think I will have him told that as he has exercised Group B holidays, Bugs has made plans according to that schedule.

Thoughts?

yep. simple.

Done.

As I suspected he just assumed it was an 'every other' plan. Was told he has no problem with having them for that weekend. Apparently the reply came in the form of an apology for not knowing the plan?

What, now that Ho is supposedly gone (again) we are supposed to be nice friends?? Her being gone was only a portion of what he needs to do.

I will have to see if the pick up becomes an issue.

Bummer of this is that I will not have my kids for 3 weekends in a row, as the holiday weekend is my 'normal' weekend.

These holiday lake trips are hard for me. They have always been our Family Trips every year. I want to be invited!

Bugs sits here with her pouty face!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Don't count on them staying broken up. Adultry relationships are .... volatile.

The point of Plan B is that you get OFF the rollercoaster of "Are they or aren't they?" and just get on with Plan Bug's Life.

Ignore it, move on.

BR,

Yes, they thrive on the drama, don't they?

Well, I think I will spend my efforts on plans for the next 3 'kid free' weekends.

This weekend is house organizing time. Taking Fri night off to have a few folks over for a pool party. Low key, but fun. A mini Celebrate the New House party

Next weekend will spend at another lake camping with family and friends.

Third weekend will spend some time on the house and have a birthday party Sat night for a friend I have not seen in a few years.

I will be out of town on business most of next week and have a new boss, so work need major attention.

Praying for the continued strength to do it all AND to let go of Drac even more. He is God's now, not mine.

Bugs:

I wanted to comment on this:

"Is it possible that Drac could get through withdrawl and my H might emerge from the fog?"

YES.

That's the hope.

But its up to H. To slay Drac and return, with Hat in Hand.

Send him the Plan B letter.

He might "get it" this time.

LG

I agree.

LG & Meggy,

Ok, I am up for that.

Question - do I add any note as to a reason for sending it again or do I just send it?

He sent a message today. Apparently he made arrangments to pay his 1/2 of latch key direct to the center. I did not have any response sent, did not think it necessary.

I wouldn't say anything. It's just a gentle nudge, reminder, whatever. Let him figure it out. But that's me. Maybe write "Copy" on the top of it or something so he won't think you're losing it... forgetting that you already sent it.

Meggy,

He already thinks I am 'mentally unstable', remember? LOL!

I handed him a handwritten letter the first time. This will be printed from the computer so the only reason for him thinking I have lost it might be that I might want him back after all of this!

If my family knew they'd have me committed! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Well, the letter was sent last night. He should get it today or tomorrow. While I am doing my best not to think about it, I hope he doesn't view it as my being pathetic or anything of that nature. As he just told DD that he and the HO broke up, and that she likely told me, who knows what he will think. Whatever it is, that is in his world, not mine.

My world must go on without him. Am off to another crazy day at work. Lots to do, which is good.

Have to call Home Warranty company to fight with them over getting coverage for the air conditioner. Not really looking forward to that, but it has to be done. I talked to the real estate agent last night and "strongly" told her that if they don't cover most of the cost, I WILL be coming back to her and the selling agent to get some satisfaction. Have been subtly hinting at bringing in my lawyer if I have to!

Am having family over tomorrow. Mom is going to help me work on the house and then others coming over for a relaxing swim,,,celebrate the move party of sorts. Sunday will be spent getting ready for trip out of town.

I plan to attend a new church on Sunday. May have to try a few out first to find the right one. Mom said she'd like to start going with me, too.

Am going to miss having DD with me these next 3 weekends. Will need to stay busy to keep from feeling down. Am fighting that a bit this morning, but am just pushing on.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Bugs,

I think you should make an appointment for a nice, relaxing massage for one of the days DD will be gone. You certainly deserve to pamper yourself.

LC

Bugs:

I think your answer came to me as an answered prayer for my life. I have been diligently praying that God would show me his will for my life.

I encourage you to read 1 thessalonians, but especially chapter 4.

1 Thessalonians 4 vs 11: " And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you."

God's words tell us not to strive (worry) and as wives missing our husbands that's what we do. We are concerned with what they do, yet it tells us that we are commanded not to. This is god's way of refining us just a little more.

1 thessalonians 4 vs 18: " In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

I am so thankful that this has happened in my life. I don't know if I would have ever realized that I was truly saved if it weren't for this experience. The more Christ has filled the void in my life, the more I am finding that I don't need my WS. I want him, but Christ is the only one I need. For this I am extremely thankful.

My father sent this to me the other day and I hope it helps you like it has me:

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the proce ss of refining Silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God hold ing us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"

He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Pass this on right now. This very moment, someone needs to know that God is watching over them. And, whatever they're going through, they'll be a better person in the end.

"Life is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once."


And I am doing a little better...almost passed out at work yesterday, but took another dramamine and continued on the day. My fever broke last night, so today will be a great day. I gave this day to the Lord and he won't let me down.

LC,

A massage sounds great! I need to find a place close to the new house! Thanks for the idea.

INeed,

Glad you may be feeling better. Still try to take it easy for a few days.

I loved the silver explaination! Very meaningful! Thanks!

In the subject line I said I am feeling like I am Abbey Normal today (Young Frankenstein movie reference).

I was thinking on the way to work that there should not be any communications on anything from Drac today. Infact, was hoping there would not be.

Within 30 min of getting to work I see an email that tells me he sent something that apparently needs a response from me as it is in my in box from M.

Is it ABNORMAL that I totally do not want to even open it?

For months I worked hard to get and planned endlessly for each and every possible contact with him. Now, even via 3rd party I do not want to deal with him.

What is wrong with me?

Funny huh?

You spend all that time planning how to get front of him, now you want to avoid him.

The peace of Plan B!

So what was so urgent? I assume "M" is your intermediary?

Hey Lexxx!

Well there have been 2 messages, both were sent to me virtually word for word, as they are both very business like, as apparently ALL of them have been. (I know, too much information about him from M).

First one today was to clarify the holiday schedule I guess he read the actual plan last night and it has listed the OPPOSITE of what we have been doing, which I I already knew.

But, for some reason he THINKS that he had DD for the 4th of July, but he did not. He just wants to be sure of the assigned groups so when he 'plans his vacations for next year' there are no problems. M should have left that part out. That really HURT, having to think ahead to next year without my H.

The 2nd one was just facts about his having paid 1/2 of the real estate tax and he will send me the bill to pay the other half.

I want to avoid him because I want him and miss him so much. I am feeling very low today. Been crying, which I have not done in a while (except leaving our house for the last time Sat). I haven't felt very good since. I think leaving there sapped some hope, and having some question/issue from Drac EVERYDAY this week - actually there has been something from or about him 10 out of the last 11 days - this has kept me in turmoil.

I have that, I want to curl up in a ball and cry all day feeling today.

So, how do I get beyond the urges to have reply sent to each and everything he sends?


I guess I need to have a reply sent on the holiday schedule. It is a SIMPLE answer, the final plan can be written for whichever way we want the groups of holidays to be.

WHY is he beating this (and me) to death? It just feels like more rubbing in my face that we won't ever be together again.

He has been using the smallest of excuses to attempt contact.
(Think back to high school...when you had a crush on someone, you would walk an extra lap around the school so they would notice you, its the same concept. I know - I know, he says he wants "nothing to do with you" however he doesn't want you gone either. He wants what he had before, you for family/domestic/financial and HO for the romance/sex/affection.)

Go dark dark darker!
It will soothe you.

If its true that he and HO have split, then his time is consumed with you...how to reach you.

Did you ever play those games when you were dating someone? Should I call? What reason do I have for calling?
I gotta think of SOMETHING...

Bugs,

I'm following and cheering for you.

Hugs to Bugs....