Be careful,,,,,be sure you don't come across as trying to "EDUCATE" your WH.

If you are saying that you are simply going to put the principal into practice without telling him what you are doing, that's ok.


Remember,,you can't go with a frontal educational approach. He'll reject it out of hand and it would be a LB right now.

And MOST of all - Do it with NO EXPECTATION of what he will or won't do as a result. Plan A for YOU, not for an EXPECTATION of WH.

Keep us posted.

How's this?

How would you feel about giving me the opportunity to explain some of the marriage principles I have been learning to create a brand new fulfilling marriage beyond our wildest imaginations that is totally and completely blessed by G-d?

Queenie,

It is a VERY tough call on when to introduce some of those kinds of things. I only did it on the specific advice of Steve Harley.

IMHO, it may not yet be the right time for your WH and I don't know that I'd do it in an email. That's the kind of thing that I think is best said when you are able to look into his eyes and convey the open honest knowledge, belief and love that goes along with knowing that MB works.

How about you post that over on your thread and ask for some more input?

okie dokie.

Thanks.

Yes, don't educate him. Take your time. When the affair ends, he will be back. In the meantime you can calmly tell him that you miss him and need him. Then smile and go on to something else.

(((((Bugs)))))

Passing out Christmas hugs to all the people who have taken the time and given of themselves to help me through my darkest hours.

You're one special lady Bugsy.. have a blessed and Merry Christmas.

You'll be in my prayers <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Sending lots of love your way, Bugsy. Happy Christmas!

Merry Christmas Bugs.

Still

I see you got some excellent advice while I was gone, Bugs. Now you can get more excellent advice now that I'm back. Probably not from me, of course, but I'll be around to read it and maybe add a snarky comment or two.

Merry Christmas!

((Bugs))

Bugs:

Thanks for the boost last night and this morning!

Have a wonderful, blessed Christmas. You'll be in my thoughts.

(((bugs)))

Morning Bugs,

How are you today? Merry Christmas?

B

Thanks EVERYONE for the season's greetings!

Sorry, don't have much time, as am giving my ALL to the kids while i have them. I tried to get my Christmas wishes posted earlier while kids were playing, but DD had a minor meltdown that ended up turning into a bigger meltdown.

Bottom line - - despite the fun we are having, it is weighing on her mind about having to leave to go with Drac later, "This back & forth is making this the WORST Christmas Ever".

So,,,,,,,Bugs is trying to hold on to have MY meltdown AFTER the kids are gone.

Add this on top of finding out that my brother, who had to leave town for 'storm duty' work and isn't here for Christmas had a drunken blackout the other day and has no memory of breaking his girlfriends nose!! Police are involved. We didn't find out until he'd left town,,,,,It's BAD.

Oh, yes, then there is the fact that my best friends H was diagonosed with Lukemia on Friday. It's not been the best few days for good news.

Yet, we are doing OK. Being thankful for the Blessings we DO have and are trusting God to get us through it all. He's always faithful to his promises, so I know He'll get us through.

Blessings to you all!

Will ck back later

Yikes, Bugs

You'll pull through and make things great for the kids, I'm sure. If you need to melt down later, that's okay. We'll be around to listen.

Blessings. . . .

(((Bugs))),

Just wanted to send hugs your way.

Still

Hey Bugs,

Come melt down with me tonight. Sis and Believer said it was OK to schedule a meltdown. Believer says to get a glass of wine (crystal glass), candles, kleenex, remove makeup, then Sis says get the sad songs or movie and let 'er rip. I started out OK, but the day is ending on a down note.

I'm here tonight. Unfortunately alone again....

(((Bugs)))

You're one tough lady.. it's ok to have a breakdown. Was spending the afternoon at my mom's place, and ended up in the bathroom for about 5 minutes.. it's hard what we're going through, but you're turning to the right place. You've got God to turn to.. and we're here for you.

I'll be in and out tonight as I go to pick up DS in a little over an hour, but I'll check in on you.

{{{{{{{{{{{Bugs}}}}}}}}}}

We are all holding each other up and hearing each other meltdown. Together we can get through it all. Alone, we lose and we are truly the WINNERS in LIFE. We are the survivors who are learning and growing in G-ds world.

Feel the feelings, but that's all they are. As my sponsor says, no amount of pain will kill us, it's what we do with the pain. And here you are telling us so we can pray and share it with you.

So Chai, if I don't drink can I still get to meltdown?

Skins

Hi everyone!

Thanks SO much for checking in on me. I am home alone now. Just me & Beau. HE was very glad to see me, so that made me feel good! Unconditional love there for sure! LOL!

Well,,,,,,,,,,,,,the rest of the day went good, but it stunk having to rush outta Mom's to take kids for the exchange. Drac was waiting. I pulled up and behind him so that I could be on the opposite side of the car from him. I kept over there and pretty much out of sight.

DSS went to get the things out of the trunk, but came around to tell me bye and had a bag in his hand and says, "This is for you". I didn't look at Drac the entire time and got outta there. I took a peak in the cheap plain bag and found I cheap plain gift. I 'guess' it was supposed to be from the kids. No tag, no card.

Frankly, I found it insulting. It was a CHEAP nasty bath set from WALMART. Drac CAN be one of the most considerate gift givers ever. No offense to the wonderful Men here, but for a typical 'man', Drac has a knack for being able to do very sweet & thoughtful, perfect gifts.

This was such an 'after thought' type of gift,,,,,ya know the kind of cheap gift you'd get from a male a co-worker that you don't know & they only had to give you a gift because they got your name in a drawing??

So,,,,,,,,instead of my "planned" pity party, I'm Pissed Off. It really did insult me. IF it had been something the KIDS had bought with him, or picked out, I would LOVE it. But it wasn't. They didn't mention having picked anything out & I KNOW that they would have said something. UGGHH!

THEN, as I was reading up on everyone's threads here, DD called to tell me all about what she got at Daddy's and all of the things that she is going to get to do while she is there. One night a hockey game with friends of Drac, another spending the night with another friend's daughter. Guess Drac can't be bogged down with having her the ENTIRE time,,,,,,,,,,NOPE, that might take putting his dating schedule on hold for an entire 5 days!!

DSS talked for a bit about what he got. Makes a lot of sense to buy a kid GAMES and things for his GAMES when he's just had them all taken away for BAD GRADES, doesn't it??

But, I put on my Happy Voice. I was "so happy and excited" for them both. At least as far as THEY could tell I was, and that is all that matters.

I hope Drac chokes on the candy the kids put on HIS packages.

So, I am SURE the meltdown is coming, but I gotta work thru the pissed off part first!!

Thanks for listening to the RANT!

You go girl..

I love your spunk. I am working towards that one day.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

What are you doing for yourself tonight?

I came home and settled in for a good old fashioned meltdown. I had "planned" on listening to Christmas songs all of the way home, knowing they would put me right where I wanted to be,,,,,,,,,,,,weepy and ready to let all of it just flow.

Instead I listened to some great rock & angry female songs because I was mad.

Got home & cuddled with the puppy and took him for a walk. Then, changed into my most comfy sweats, popped a new bottle of champagne, and settled in here.

One more glass and I'm off for a nice hot, candle light bath. THEN, some sappy movie with lots of tissues.

How about you?