I'm glad you like it!! My mom is GREAT! I don't know what I'd do without her,,,especially through all of this.

It's funny how you don't realize the little sayings that your parents pass on to you,,,,,,,,until you start saying them to your own kids!

One of our other favorite things to say is "Everything in life would be so much easier if everyone would just think the way WE do!"

We look alike, think alike, act alike,,,,,,,oh Lord! I'm in BIG trouble in the years to come! Not only for myself, but because of DD,,,,,,,,she's another little clone!

Or

I should say, Goddess in Training! I learned a lot of Goddess behavior from my Grandmother and my Mom. Mimi & I hit it off in the same way. BabyBugs is just like us so far!! I'm proud to say that she is in great company!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

What can I say, Bugs? Some people deserve the shovel. Would that I could really deliver it upon Drac, as if it might knock some sense into him.

So, when is the last time you wrote a letter to Drac reminding him what a [censored] he is and what a mistake he's making? Not to send to him, of course, but you could always post it on here. I (for one) will read it (I know you will read mine when I need to not send one to the SCQ). You have every right to be angry, so let yourself feel it.

And then put it away and go about your day. Take care of yourself.

How many candles with the bath? Are they scented? Are you a bath salt kind of gal?

(((((((Bugs)))))))

I hope his falling enlightens him to HIS true colors, too, because that is really what is important.

HOOOOORAY for the bath! Calgon take me away! So, what's Bugsy doing for her birthday?

Does BabyBugs understand that Ho is the reason Daddy doesn't want to be with Mommy?

I just think that is part of her world she should understand.....

Ho is not her friend....Ho wrecked her family....

JMO.

Just taking a quick break here at work,,,, although I shouldn't be!! Need a mental relaxation moment!

SL - - you are right on the mark that the important thing is for Drac to see and want to change HIMSELF. To do that, he has to hit the bottom. I think perhaps with the help of the HO, he will get there and potentially faster than if he is without her. I don't know why I feel so strongly that this is exactly what is in the works and that it IS going to happen (sooner rather than later too). For some odd reason I really believe that's what's happening. Does that sound crazy?

In fact, I did tell my co-worker friend that it's sad that instead of realizing what he's done wrong, owning up to it and making some good changes in his life, he's falling for her bullshite once again. Too bad for him to go down that road that will lead to suffering when he could have such a GREAT life. HIS loss.

Lexxxy,,, oh yes. DD is well aware the role the HO has played in breaking up the family. She knows very well that is it NOT right to have ANYONE else in your life when you are married. Now, at 7 years old the more the ho is around, then she is going to come around to accepting her being there eventually. DD does not want to hurt or upset her Daddy and will not misbehave even though she is uncomfortable with the ho being around. It's one of those things that she has yet to be able to discuss with him.

I am very factual with DD about the ho and what has happened. I don't tell her to DO or not do anything if/when the ho is around, as that would be unfair to put her in that position. But, for example, over the summer, DD told me at one point that "Ho is really nice". I calmly replied to her that I am sure that there are times when the Ho treats her nicely, but that nice people do not date men who are married already, and that is what the ho has done, so I do not believe she is a nice person.

Well,,,,,,,as for more FUN subjects. For my birthday, the first thing that I did was order flowers for myself to be delivered to work. I did it last year, too and although it felt silly, it really helped me feel better that day! Then, Friday night, it's a girl's night out. Everyone spending the night at my house, so guess it's also a slumber party!! Then, on Saturday, I think I'll treat myself to a manicure/pedicure!

Oh, and after I get my year end bonus, I am treating myself to laser hair removal! I won't say what areas I am having treated! LOL!

Bugs,

I so hope this happens to my WH.

I pray daily that I learn to understand that he is the LOSER in all this and NOT ME.

Bugs, your ability to treat yourself and take care of yourself impresses me so much. I love reading what you do for yourself. I hope that one day I can do that.

As parents it is our job to model right and wrong behavior and it's important for us to teach our children that what is going on is wrong. I hope I said that right. My children want to have NOTHING to do with their dad because they recognize how sick and wrong it is. I am very blessed that he has NO influence on them and isn't able to teach them values that are SICK AND DISGUSTING.

I assume you didn't all of a sudden know how to treat yourself. How did you learn that?

Same for me..have to say GRANDMOTHERS...both of them would not leave home without their LIPSTICK and "ROUGE".. up into their late 80s..

And speaking of MOTHERS, when I walk towards a large mirror sometimes, I honestly think it's her.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

My H recently told me this story. A man recently asked my him if I look anything like my mother, my H said Yes. The man said: "You sure are LUCKY..cause (MY MOTHER'S NAME) is one of the most BEAUTIFUL women I has ever seen"... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

It's not about the looks though: "PRETTY IS..AS PRETTY DOES"...my grandmother's saying...

Your grandmother was a wise woman, Mimi.

Well, there is an email in my in box from Drac. As I have "preview" mode, I can see there is no content to the body, just the Subject Line "Happy Birthday"

I don't know which is worse,,,,,,,,,,,,such a crappy email acknowledgement or None at all???

I really want to reply and say "Wow! Thanks! The warmth and heartfelt sentiment of your message is overwhelming!".

{{{{{{{{{{{{Bugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Remember they are MONSTERS, it's all ABOUT THEM.

They aren't capable of anything that seems remotely caring. And you are right, IT FLIPPIN HURTS.

What are you doing for yourself today to treat you like the Goddess you are?

(((Bugs)))

It doesn't matter Bugsy.. you can't -make- him care about you the way YOU want him to.

What is it that you really want from him? A birthday present? Would it be good enough to overcome the hurt.. or would it be a shallow attempt at alleviating his guilt? What if it was a present that didn't show that he put a lot of thought into it at all?

It's no big deal.. let go of it Bugs.. chest out, head up. It's yer birthday.. don't let -him- spoil it by bringing you down.


Happy Birthday by the way <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday Bugs
Happy Birthday to You

Chag Sameach...... That's Hebrew..

Tell me what you are doing for yourself....

BUGSY..MY KINDRED SISTER..

I'm CELEBRATING your BIRTH, TODAY!!!

((((BUGSY))))

Bugs, hit "delete" and don't acknowledge it at all.
Happy Birthday from me.

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes!

It was a good day! Lots of folks calling, emailing, and sending cards. Mom and DD had a "party' setup when I got home from work with decorations, cake and presents!

DD didn't want to go out,,,,she wanted just her & Mommy time for my birthday which was just fine with me. She was pretty tired and almost fell asleep on the couch before her dance class,,,,,,so I gave in and let her skip last night. We cooked a nice birthday dinner.

Then, the little sweetheart insisted on giving me a "real" back massage with candle light and nice lotion! I've had some expensive massages, but none of them were better than hers as it was done with such love!

It appears that Drac is of the impression that this is my weekend,,,,and doesn't realize it is HIS due to the MLK holiday. I'm trying to decide if I'm going to clue him in on it or not. AND, if I do, WHEN to do it. He's supposed to pick up DD from latchkey on his weekends and I just hate the thought that if I don't let him know, that she is going to end up there at 6pm with no one having come to get her!! It would be for her sake that I'm even considering helping him out with the schedule.

Gotta run for now,,,,,,,,,

Morning Bugs,

I'm glad you had a nice birthday. You were in all our thoughts. Have a great day.

Nothing I could say would be a better birthday wish than that. I'm happy for you, Bugs.

Belated Happy Birthday (((Bugs)))

Bugs:

I know it is so hard on you, as it is me when my WS is living with the OW. I have my DD coming home with scrap books that they make there. It hurts, but it allows God to strenghen us.

Our WS have not hit rock bottom and that will end up hurting them. It may even be better if Drac and OW end up living together. Mine is beginning to realize that it's not greener on the other side, and when DD was with him this past weekend she saw that they were arguing and that they didn't kiss and hug as much. That is so great to hear !!

One of the things that I learned this past week was that for true honest repentance with GOD you must be willing to let go of any and all things that are not going to help your christian walk with GOD. Right now your WS and mine are not helping us at all. Let go, and Let God.

Just keep praying more specifically and more often for his salvation. You are doing Great Bugs !!!!

Pray 1 Corinthians 10:13 for Drac: - " No temptation has overtaken Drac except sush as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow Drac to be tempted beyond what he is able, but with the temptation will also make the WAY OF ESCAPE, the He may be able to bear it.

***********************************************************

Lord, we pray that you would strenthen Drac to resist any temptations that come his way. Deliver him from evils such as adultery, pornography, alcohol, gambling and perversion. Remove the temptation especially in the area of adultery.

Make him strong where he is weak. Help Drac to rise above anything that seeks to erect a stronghold in his life. Lord, You've said that whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down without walls. (Prov 25:28

I pray that Drac will not be broken down by the power of Evil, but raised up by the Power of God. Please lead someone to his life that will say or do something that may refocus his eyes upon you Lord. Help Drac to take charge over his own spirit in order to help him resist anything and anyone who becomes a temptation.

Lord, I know that the divorce is final, but the commitment and Love still stand. I have faith in you that you are moving that mountain to restore my marriage. I trust that you are taking care of Drac at this present time. Thank you so much for that. Thank you for trying to reach deep down into Drac's heart to try to soften and restore it to the Loving person I fell in Love with.

Lord, we know that for Drac to come to you he must hit rock bottom in order to give him complete dependance upon you. I ask that you allow him to hit rock bottom so that he can depend on you. THank you for allowing me to depend on you. Thank you for strenthening my life. Thank you for giving me your peace in this matter. And thank you especially for sending your son to the cross so that I could have this blessed Life. Lord, You are a great father, and I look forward to your best in my life. I ask this all in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

Bugs:

We are wondering what's happened to you....

LG

Hey LG!

I'm still hanging around, reading threads from time to time, but not posting much. I've found that taking a break from here is better for me right now. I am able to keep focus where it should be (on me & kids) VS on Drac when I am not talking about it here every day.

For the most part, I am doing really well. I spend more time in Bible study and it is really helped me a lot. I also have my sister playing a modified mediator role for me. I have her read and "interpret" emails from Drac for me.

Recent events with him have been DD "accidentially" seeing part of the [censored] 2 movie at the Ho's house. UGH!! Drac grilling DSS about what I say,,,,,,,,,and tons of accusations because of my honesty about telling the TRUTH vs LIES and LIES by Omission. He just twists everything around in his Fog to be about HIM and how he gets "so little time with his kids" .

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

I just don't engage and it feels fine to me. Since the Ho's full time back in the picture, he's tried several times to take digs and pokes at me,,,,,,,,,,,,I guess hoping for more fuel to help fantasyland remain exciting. WHATEVER. Bugs don't play that.

I spent MLK weekend painting DD's room. We are going to paint DSS's room this weekend. We went to the local Mardi Gras Dog Parade last week & had a BLAST! DD was disappointed when she went in to say hi to Drac & tell him about the parade,,,,because his reply was "Yes, I already KNOW that you were there. A friend of mine saw you".

Interesting that he gets reports on what we were doing.

She's ok,,,,,,,,,other than having to deal with the movie issue. SHE told me what went on. I did address it with Drac and then had another talk with her. She made me "pinky swear" not to tell him what she was going to say the 2nd time and then says "Mommy,,,, he LIED".

How horrible for a 7 yr old to have to point out that their parent is a liar!! I could have just kicked him in the cajones!

Instead, I determined that what is most important is my relationship with her and teaching her right from wrong. Obviously, I am doing a GOOD job!

She & DSS both love going to church. Last Sunday BabyBugs sang with her class in front of church for the very first time! I CRIED!! It was the most beautiful thing!

Thanks for checking on me. I really am doing well. Not dating. Not looking to date and I'm totally OK with my life right now.

Everything is in God's hands and there's nothing I can't do with his support.

I haven't left,,,, and am not going to. Just sitting back and taking care of us in Plan Bugs.