I visited the gyno today. I've been having problems and was diagnosed with chlamydia in April (dday2). I had had the infection for 2 1/2 years. During that time I had jokingly asked my H if there was any chance it was an STD and he swore to me it couldn't possibly be. As a result I have been permantently damaged and am suffering severe pain every month. My doctor thought it was endometriosis but today the gyno told me it was as a result of the long term chlamydia infection. She said that there is no cure just treatment of painkillers. What hurts is that even if my H couldn't face confessing he could at least have gone and got himself checked out early on without telling me. As it is he didn't think enough of me to prevent this. How can we ever get past this with a regular trigger like this? I just want to end it but he keeps insisting that we can get through this and he wants to be here for me. It makes me sick. I can't look at him never mind work on things. Love busters are spewing out of me and I couldn't care less about HIS emotional needs. What do I do?

You're going to need counseling to get through this. The reason he didn't get checked is because he is like all the rest of the WS's who don't think that reality applies to them. They don't use precautions, they don't insist partners get tested, they just don't think. I have never figured out exactly why, but 99.9% of cheaters don't use common sense.

I suggest you see a good MC to work through this stuff. Otherwise the resentment is going to come seething to the surface.

I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. It really sucks when the betrayed spouse is inflicted with physical harm, not just emotional harm.

I have no words of wisdom for you but I will offer prayers for you. You have my empathy.

JinGA

Devestated,

I also was given an STD by my husband.

He discovered his outbreak in November. Mine came along right around Christmas time. It's gone now, but I do live with constant worry that something will come up in the future. We had been tested back in July, but nothing showed. Then, low and behold, November, we find it. So much for testing.

My concern is twofold; one, OW had some sort of female problem. Bleeding or something. Husband doesn't tell me what exactly it was. And two, OW's H apparently slept with a person who was a real sl*t. Thus, that leaves me open to all of THOSE people.

That's what I get for having only slept with one person my entire life--my husband.


I, too, cannot for the life of me, figure out how they can put our lives in danger like this. Especially when there are children involved. Geez, he may has well have put a gun to my head and played a game of Russian Roulette. When I had first confronted him on the issue, he was defiant and pissed off at ME.

Truly, truly unbelievable.

I'm sorry you are suffering through this, D.

In this day and age, why do people *still* think they are invincible?

I mean... the olde worlde VD type stuff was curable - but there's so much out there now that can KILL you... HIV, herpes never goes away... many infections left untreated can cause infertility...

My friend's XH left her for another man - but not before he gave her an infection that went undetected/untreated and she got PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease). One hysterectomy later she's alive but she can't have any more kids, and the pain she went through was unreal.

Sad...

WS = bad judgement <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

JinGA

I feel for you and hate what idiots some people are to play around with other people's lives like that. They live in the moment and don't use their brains at all.

When I went to my last OB visit (I'm 8 months pregnant and was/is cheated on) and I got all my STD tests done. My WS is livid about it. I recently lost my hearing and it may because of the Herpes virus. If it comes back positive, it'll be like thanks WS for the free gift. Geeze.

gwyneffar,

I read your story earlier today. So sorry that you are going through this. It's just he77.

Not to alarm you, but like I said in my earlier post, I was tested and given a clean bill of health. Five months later, the STD showed up. So even if it does come back clean, well, there are no guarantees.

My big worry is HPV. Men are only the carriers, but women can get cervical cancer from it.

btw, I also have hearing loss in one ear from tinnitus. Drive me nuts!! I know how you feel.

The blessings we recieve from the OW. My OW gave my FWH HPV, of the over 100 varieties only about 4 cause cervical cancer. Gues which two I got from her?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Continue to see your GYN. make sure they kjnow that your H is wayward and they keep track of you. Have your pelvic exam every year. My PAP was abnormal, had the colposcopy to determine the strains of HPV. Then routine followup every 3 months for the next year. After the second abnormal everything converted back to normal. The good news is that people with healthy immune systems taking vitamins, normally are able to fight off the HPV. But we have to protect our health by seeing the DR. As humiliating as it is. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Hugs to all of us that received such a horrible reminder (((((.....))))

FTS <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

devastated93,

I haven't been here in many months, and I happen to come to your thread! Amazing.

My husband got hpv, genital warts 2 years ago from a crack prostitute. I haven't caught it, but it's a horrible thing to have to use a condom with my own husband since. He also has had outbreaks since, and doesn't tell me when he has them. It's a terrible thing to have to check him before each moment. Each time with a condom is a reminder, and each outbreak he has is a reminder of her with him. We live seperately at this time. I refuse all SF at this point, to protect my own health. This is one of many reasons, I am seriously thinking divorce.

To Devastated and all on this thread that have been devastated by infidelity and an STD,
Pau d' Arco is a wonderful herb, putting the body into a defensive posture, and giving the energy needed to resist disease. This herb's primary application and secondary application is for cancer patients, and for various STD's. This herb has been used on cancer patients in South America with great success.

I highly recommend you try this herb, I believe it may heal you. Best used in whole herb form not capsules or tablet. It will have to be made into a tea to get the medicinal properties into the water. It's a bark, therefore needs to be steeped longer than a regular tea.

1 Teaspoon herb
1 cup of water
boil on slow for 10 minutes
mix with honey or sugar (honey is best).
[To make many cups at one time, store in the refrigerator in a glass pitcher w/ lid or a glass jar.
Heat on the stove, no microwave.]

1 cup a day for the first week.
3 cups daily (morn, noon, night) for the next 3 weeks.
After the first month only 2-3 cups weekly
for the next month.

Take a multi-vitamin daily also.


Sympathizing with you all <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />,
Lady