Focused on cheating and told the story of a man who like many here were juggling the rigors of life with small children, careers, et al and suddenly the wife finds herself in "love" with the neighbor down the street. This guy was heartbroken, you could here it in his voice. He had no idea anything was wrong in the marriage.

They also went on to say that a new poll suggests 60% of men and 55% of women are or have cheated on their spouses. 90% of the cheating spouses interviewd said they felt "entitled" to their affair.

I vote for a return to the branding of a scarlet A on the forehead of infidels.

Hopeandpray, I vote for throwing their a$$es in jail!

HAP... I wanted to let you know that I like your straight forward approach to posting.

BTW... I agree with your post! You too RT!

I saw that news item too. I guess it didn't tell us anything we don't already know over here, eh?

JinGA

Do any of you watch "To Catch a Predator" on Dateline NBC with Chris Hanson?

Married men going to meet what they think is a 13-year-old girl for sex, and when they get busted they ball their eyes out like little babies. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" /> boo freakin hoo!

I watched it last week and could not believe the number of men who had families at home and were pedophiles. What is so wrong with these people and in their marriages that they would chat on line with a child and blatantly ask for sex!? And think that it is OK!
Then when Chris Hansen shows up, they get all “I wasn’t really going to do anything. I wasn’t really going to have sex with her. I just wanted to talk.”

You want to talk? GET A FREAKIN THERAPIST!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Hi H&P -

We don't get Fox News over here so I missed the story. But I'm glad that Mrs. RIF doesn't have a Scarlet Letter on her forehead...

Semper Fi,
RIF

Semp,

I was talking about the unrepentant, unremorseful infidelt, not the one's that earn their "F" for former. I am instead heartened by the many FWW's and FWH's that post here and are willing to help others in a time of need.

But, the other kind, the I am "entitled" and every one else (including my children)can deal with kind, should have the branding iron taken to them imo.

By the way, thank you for serving our country!

Hope:

Didn't someone else already try that?

Didn't work for him either...

LG

Hi H&P,

Mrs RIF was at one time unrepentant, unremorseful, and definitely felt "entitled"... It took us years to work through our issues, but in the end, she is forgiven.

Thanks for clarifying... there are many great FWW/FWH here that contribute much to this forum and I know that they are glad that they're not branded for life.

Semper Fi,

RIF

LG,

It was a metaphor to say that adultery needs to carry more of a stigma in our society rather than some glorified Holywood style embracing. If more UNREPENTANT, UNREMORSEFUL waywards left their marriages without 50% or more of the assets, the children, the furniture, etc there might be a pause before one would jump off the cliff so to speak. I was just making the point that more should be done to protect the family unit from a UNREPENTANT, UNREMORSEFUL wayward.

Semp,

I am glad to hear of your recovered marriage and I am sure it was a long tough road. Congratulations.

And as I said above there are many, many "F"WW's and WH's that post here and are of much help and support to others. They are to be commended for their personal changes and willingness to help others.

Hey everyone, I meant what HAP meant, too --- just the unrepentant brand of wayward. The ones who have learned a thing or two, including my own FWS, don't deserve to get thrown in jail.

My dad would be among those that SHOULD have been--ran off and left 3 kids and a wife to fend for themselves in every way. 30 years later, still has his little entitlement attitude, did the right thing, and never once apolozied to any of us. His own mantra song--"I Did It My Way. He'll still tell you that today, four wives and two kids later.
Schnook.

Until there are harsher penalties for adultery in a divorce it isn't going to stop.

I live in California, I can go out today and sleep with any women in the world as much as I want and the court says it isn't my fault we got a divorce.

Our assets are split evenly. They punch our vital info into a computer program that spits out what the child support and alimony if there is any.

Adultery is not a factor in child custody unless basically the kids saw me playing hide the sausage with the other woman and her husband came over and chased me down the block naked in front of their friends and teacher.

Other wise it has no bearing on child custody.

So why not!!! Whats the worst that could happen to me a selfished entitled person. A divorce woooooo big dang deal.

How about if you have an affair you can only have 25% in a community property state. That the fact that you decided to rip your family apart proves you don't know what is in the best interest of your children so you don't get primary custody.

How about out of the settlement you have to pay your BS back every cent you stole from your family to spend on the Op.

And finally you pay for all the IC's the kids and your BS will need.

That may keep some married people from fooling around.

If the BS takes you back then they just go down and get a post nup that says do it again and you lose it all.

I don't watch Fox news, but I agree that there needs to be more of stinger for adultrey in this society.

One of the small (?) blessings I have living the great state of N. Carolina is that because my WH committed adultrey, he completely forfeits any right to alimony from me (I am the one with the larger paycheck in the family). And because he is "shacking up" with OW, the courts will not award him post-separation support. The only thing he can get if we get divorced is an order that we sell the home and split the proceeds 50/50. He hasn't gone down that road yet (in N.C. you can't file for divorce until you've been living apart for one year), and I will fight him if he does.

Gotta love the South!!!

That'd all be excellent, actually fair IMO, frog...but dream on...I doubt that is the direction any state will go when deciding divorce settlements and child custody.

AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!! Do we all not have consequences for our children? Why are there no consequences for these people?

I'm in the south, and thankfully in the state's eyes I am married until divorce papers are signed & sealed. I have enough proof I need on A. My only problem is that the lovely state I live in has gotten rid of the allienation of affection law. I've heard this "woman" (I have other names for her of course) has broken up at least 1 other marriage in the past. So, if all of us BS' would sue her hiney, maybe she'd think twice!

My lawyer advises I should get a tad more than a 50/50 split, but why exactly does he deserve ANYTHING???

Just like I was reading in my devotional the other night...things will not get any better as long as there are "no fault" divorces and there are harsher punishments for A! Most states don't even require counseling. Granted W's can just "play along", but it would be something.

Anyway, what can we do? Here we are. Maybe bring up the name "Bobbitt" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Here is a link to the story I believe the original poster is referring to.

http://www.foxnews.com/video2/launchPage...p;Entertainment


It states he's a clinical psychologist helping couples. IMO, he is cluesless to the reason his marriage fell apart. He worked long hours at 2 different offices, he blames technology for her infidelity. I get the impression he had no clue he wasn't meeting his W's EN and has no idea why she chose an A. One would think his background would help him with that.

I realize what we see is only a small piece of the puzzle and don't know the whole story. Of course I am assuming this next part, but it sure doesn't sound like he tried the MB way. To me it sounded like he thought having a wedding ring is what it takes to keep a person faithful.

LC

It takes 2 to tango, thats for sure. No ONE deserves to be cheated on....I don't care what the WS's reason is.

I got totally blasted on another "relationship" board for the following opinion:

T.v., popular music, film, and "print" material, internet, provide a steady stream of sex, an "acceptance" if you will, of satisfying someones "base" instincts.

Men and women are being continually pummeled with images, and "shown" that one is "right" in the pursuit of "satisfaction".

That WE are entitled to that. That the "ideal" is to satisfy and pursue sex and personal gratification.

Today,anyone, male or female, young or old, single or married, can access porn, can access childen, it's all right there, just for the taking. And we are being told, shown, it's o.k.

I have friends in the "mountains" (very country, rural area) and a cabin in an area where "modern technology" is not mainstream.

I spend a lot of time up there. One of the very first things I noticed about the "country" people is this:

THEIR LIVES ARE NOT "DRIVEN" BY TV, VIDEO, NEWS, PORN, INTERNET, MAGAZINES...

These people live a lifestyle much the same as the one that existed 40 years ago where I live.

There isn't this "need" or even a sense of "entitlement" to those same attitudes and drive for self satisfaction.

What a wonderful way to live. Think about it;

Living life for the sake of life. No constant stream of sex, porn, trashy people with their trashy lives, no constant "programming" that somehow we "need" some gizmo, some big huge T.V.,internet, no re-iteration and constant images of Lindsey, Paris, they don't watch T.V.....they don't "surf" the internet.

They aren't sleeping on a sidewalk all night to buy some stupid phone, or ticket to some concert...

They IMHO TRUELY are LIVING.

I wish I could move up there.

Yes, I am on the net typing this. I am glad this forum is here.

But, I could live without it, live without the trappings of technology.

I remember the days when I needed a dime to make a phone call.

When I had to wait for the water to boil.

I hope to retire to that place. I will be very happy when my H can't have ready access to porn, and a steady stream of "hotties" so he is less likely to be satisfied with me.

Of course he was wrong. It takes character, integrity and class to remain faithful.
Now, it certainly takes a lot more than that to have a good marriage...but remember that the unfaithful spouse cheats of their own choice. No one is ever in such a bad marriage that they need another penis or vagina to help improve their life.

Yes, I agree 100% with everything you said.

The impression I got from the video clip (and realize I could be misinterpreting the meaning) is that he blames technology for her A and the fact he had a wedding ring should have protected him. I got the impression he didn't consider the fact she was perhaps lonely in her own marriage because he worked long hours. (I realize again, not a reason to cheat, I just wondered if he knew it) Regardless of anything, no one should cheat, but it doesn't seem he considers there was any other breakdown in the marriage or if he did they didn't air what he said.

This is much how my H felt before my A. He had a ring, we didn't have to put much effort into our marriage and we would be fine, type thinking. We were both clueless on what it takes to make marriage work. I went about it all the wrong way because I failed to communicate what I needed from him. He thought working hard and providing for us is all we needed. Not only could my H not believe I cheated, he couldn't believe I cheated on HIM. We were above that because we had rings. It's early and I haven't had enough coffee yet, so I hope I'm making sense.

That is my personal feeling I get from the man in the video. Like I said, I could be wrong.

LC

You are damn right it should keep them faitful LC. It may not keep them married but it damn sure should keep them faithful. Look if you don't want to be married for whatever reasons then divorce but do go and line up the next Mr. Right or Mrs. Right in the process. Be man/woman enough to confront your spouse with your unhappiness and if nothing changes then divorce. Don't break your vows.