Please give some points of view.
My husband and I have no Friends. no really! he has Friends from work but he will not invite them to the house and we don't go any place with them. I have no Friends but I would like to be friends with other couples and he just says if I find them he will be friends but we should not have to be friends with his friends. what do you think about that. this is becoming a huge issue in are life.

CLK, Welcome to MB.Have you read the concepts? Have you read about POlicy of Joint Agreement? It states Don't do anything unless your spouse enthusiastically agrees. So, I wouldn't try to force him to do social activities with his work friends.

Do you work outside the home? If you do, you know you spend a LOT of waking time with your coworkers. Lots. In some ways they become a surrogate extended family. Like blood family, we're kind of stuck with each other, and we can get on each other's nerves. There is such a thing as too much family time! Imagine if you spent 8 or more hours a day with your brothers and sisters and cousins and aunts and uncles. Some people would still be enthusiastic about socialize even more with them. Others, like my boyfriend, would have had enough.

Also, there's a real possibility your husband values his alone time. He could be an "Introvert" on the Myers-Briggs scale. That means he recharges his spirit and energy by spending time alone. Too many people, too much of the time will drain an introvert's energy and cause them a lot of stress.

So, how can you make friends? If you work outside the home, and there are women you like, invite them over with their husbands. Or start out slowly by having lunch together. If you have children, invite their friends' families over. Not everyone will float your boat, but some will. If you don't have families, why not join a club for some activity you love? Meet people with a common interest. Start a book club or join one.

I can very much relate to your story. My H and I are in a similar situation and is a key reason we are on this site and in MC. I work at home doing daycare so I am surrounded by children 12 hours a day, actually 24 hours a day since I am home with our own kids 24/7. I am in desperate need of adult interaction. I have befriended one of my moms and have been welcomed into her circle of friends. I fit in quite well. My H on the other hand prefers to spend all his free time at home with the family. He is working alot, but not really by his choice. (He is on an interview for another job right now with less OT) I could go into great detail but that really isn't the point. My husband did not understand how his hours and my job were affecting me. I am on anti depressants now and they have really been helping me. My depression turned into anger and resentment and every little thing would set me off. Meds can be so helpful once you find the right one and the right dosage.

It wasn't until we started marriage counseling that he was finally able to see the pressure I had on me and how he was contributing to it. All this didn't come about until after I told him one night not to come home. I was trying to get him to go out with what I considered "our" friends at this point (he got along with a couple of the husband)for my friends birthday. He hates bars so he didn't want to go. I'm not a big bar person either so he feels like i'm changing my principles now that I have these friends. I'm not. It's more about getting out and being with other people that I need. He sent me a text that he would just stay home with the kids so I could go party with "MY" friends. I was furious and that was my last straw. I was tired of being controlled and minipulated and made to feel guilty that I wanted to have a life. I didn't want to go without him. He makes it about getting away from him but that is not my goal at all. Sometimes I like to do that too but not by going to bars. That is when we started marriage counseling. It is funny that spouses don't hear what the other one is saying and it takes a unbiased 3rd party to say the same thing and then they get it. My H does get it and we are working on finding a happy medium. I am going to bible study one night a week (with the same group of girls), we are working hard at spending our 15 hours a week (hard with long work hours and 5 kids), and we are working on our communication skils. We have other issues too, not just this one but MC and IC is already working after just a couple sessions. We are far from perfect now but we do see each others EN better now and are working hard at recognizing our differences and boundaries and finding the "middle". We both fight to the death to "WIN". Hard habit to break.
I don't suggest kicking your H out but I would strongly suggest MC. I really like this site and we have also been reading "Fighting FOR your marriage". I really like this book. I have found out many of my faults and how they contribute to our problems. I thought I was less at fault then I am. It is very humbling.
I love my night at bible study and it has helped both of us. I am learning more about the bible, getting out of the house, and spending time with my friends all at one time. I would definately suggest you find something that interests you and get out. I know where I live there is a scrapbooking store that has nights that people can go and use some of their stuff and scrapbook. If you have any interest in that it would get you out of the house and put you in contact with other women, obviously with children, that you might be able to form a bond with and begin a family friendship. It is hard to find the right fit, but i'm sure there are lots of them out there.
Do you work outside the home? How many children?
I hope this helps. I know sometimes it helps to know you're not alone. We are heading in the right direction now and that feels so wonderful. I want you to find that too. I don't know if an email friend would help but if you are interested we could exchange email's.

Good Luck! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> [color:"purple"] [/color]

Thanks for your points of view. I do stay at home and that does not help. I think I need to redo my post I think I'm not getting the point across I'll think about it.

Thanks again

More information would really help. The more you tell us, the better understanding we'll get of the situation.

Are you involved in church? Maybe if you started going to church and meeting other couples at church you could begin having that need met.

Do you volunteer? Maybe doing that would help as well.

My husband and I haven't had a lot of couples friends either, however, that is just as much my fault as it is his,
I could very well call some friends from church and make plans with them just as well as my husband could.

It doesn't have to be a bar, we could make plans to go to dinner, or bowling, or lunch, something else fun, but neither one of us has made the attempts to do so..so I am just as much at fault.

So start making some friends, meet your neighbors, and see about getting together and having a bbq, or something at your home..