Hi everyone,
We've had lots of difficulties in our 3 year marriage and I tried desperately to correct things without much success. My wife suffers from some emotional problems and even her dad, who is a good friend of mine, told me the other day 'I know what you are going through as I've been there before'!
To cut a lengthy story short, she stormed out of the house two nights ago after a silly argument and drove to another state where some of her old pals live. The big problem is that we have two dogs which she brought to our house over two years ago, much to my objection at the time. But now we both grew deeply attached to these dogs. When I tried to understand from her what would happen to the dogs, she kept saying 'they are your dogs, I am gone'! She said that again just now when I called her. I don't wish to take these dogs to the shelter as they will most likely be put to sleep, which will hurt me even more. This issue is also affecting my work as I can't leave the dogs behind on their own.
How can I get through to my wife on the dog issue? This is almost like having kids, would anyone leave their kids behind to the other partner? I think its grossly unfair. Sorry to brag on this, but I really have no idea on what to do now. I still hope my wife comes back to her senses. Her dad reckons that she will come back to our house as she has a history of running away for few days in the past, but I can't be sure of that.

best regards,
AL

AL

What is your issue with the dogs? My WH left me one month ago to live with his mistress and left our two dogs with me (now in my case that I was fine b/c he and OW cannot care for them and I did not want my "babies" over there with OW anyway).

However, since I work a demanding job and travel often, getting regular care for them was a critical issue (especially when I was out of town). Freinds pitched in for me, but that can't last forever. So solved my problem by getting a pet sitting service. I checked them out throughly and they are wonderful! Now my girls have good care when I can't be home and they love their "nanny"!

Plese don't put your babies in the shelter--you'd never forgive yourself if you love them as much as I love mine. Besides, the dogs have been a great source of company and comfort to me since WH moved out.

smartiepants2

If you need to re-home the dogs, contact a local rescue. If you google for "dog rescue" or "collie rescue" or "insert-whatever-breed-here rescue" you should be able to find a local organization that will help you find a new home or homes for the dogs.

I kept all our "marital pets" - but that's fine with me... but I understand that not everyone is able to continue caring for family pets when circumstances change. Just wanted to let you know that there are alternatives to the shelter.

JinGA

SP,
I am also deeply attached to these two dogs and may follow what you did. Although it is going to require lots of efforts as our dogs suffer from some issues (separation anxiety, etc).
My puzzlement is about my wife. She once had a female dog which died of old age and to this day she cries for her loss. Now we have these two lovely ones (one is 4 the other is 5 yr old) and she says "they are yours, I am gone". I can't really believe it. Even if she did come back (which I hope she does) how could I forgive her for this total lack of responsibility?
She once said that we can never seperate, because neither of us can take care of the dogs on our own, which we both love!

Thanks.
I get the suspicion that she knows I wont take them to the shelter and may be that's why she says she doesn't care. May be its a temporary thing, I don't know.

It's a tough call - only you know how long you can be OK keeping them - but if they are not being properly cared for, it's best for *them* to rehome them. I don't have personal experience except an acquaintance of mine runs a rescue in another state - they may be able to help you by fostering them for a while. That way if things are patched up between your W and you, you could get them back, but in the interim they will receive the care and attention they need. Even if you had to pay for this sort of service, IMO it would be worth it - for your W and for the dogs.

Just more ideas...

JinGA