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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 91
S
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101 (spying) was very helpful to me. Let me start by thanking everyone here. The thought of my H with another women, today anyway, isn't making me as ill as it has in the past.

That said Please post the way in which you caught WS in the A.

I have already read the other posts in ref. to this...I wanted to start my own. (Feeling needy today:()

I will be listening to my very 1st "covert" recording tonight.

Joined: Jul 2007
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I downloaded something called Keylogger. It records everything typed on the keyboard of the pc. Anything he did online was recorded by keylogger--including log in and passwords for accounts.

Joined: Jun 2006
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What worked for me was checking his cell phone..recent calls and recent texts..I did a reverse number search (yellow pages.com) and also did an Intellius search for the frequently called numbers to get more information on who he was calling. On his phone, I would start a text and it prompts "recent" or "address book". I pressed "recent" and bingo, all of the names and numbers that he texted recently popped up in the order of his texts. Of course he was deleting the actual text messages saying that keeping texts on his phone drained the battery. WHATEVER. Then on the computer, I would click on the "history" button (looks like a clock with a backward arrow) to see what websites he was looking at. You get the full detail of all the websites and webpages. When myspace kept coming up and it wasn't from me or my daughter, I suspected even more (than the text messages and phone calls). Then I was able to access his myspace (when you log on, it has a list of recent email addresses if you type in the first letter...so I went through the alphabet and the numbers to see what he was using). Then I accessed his yahoo emails (he had set up FOUR yahoo accounts!) by selecting "forgot password" and I know my husband's history, so I was able to answer the mystery question. And voila! I found the straw that triggered DDay. I printed off the emails (of course he had deleted the incoming emails, but not the sent emails, so I had some ammunition to back up my suspicions). And last but not least, I looked at the cell phone bills and saw that he was making calls (lengthy ones at that) at all hours of the day and night when we were apart (he stayed behind to sell house while I moved 1000 miles away for a new job--we were both in agreement to this). All of that he tried to deny. I bought into so many of his lies hook line and sinker. But he could not deny the emails that I had printed off nor could he deny the pictures that I printed that he had emailed to her. (I told him that his mom would be so proud). But, that's how I pieced it together. What I printed off and the fact that I put my ring on top of them is what opened his eyes and finally made him confess. He had had his share of cake eating and knew that he couldn't get out of this by any other means than coming clean.

Hope this helps you in your quest to find the truth. Take care.
SS


Me: 44
FWH: 51
Married: 15 years (second for both)
Children:
Mine: 25, 22, 21
His: 26, 20
D-Day: 3/13/06
Healing: Ongoing

May the grace of God comfort you and heal your pain.
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 163
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I used a digital tape recorder in her car. That didnt work, she was on to it, she knows me pretty well. Then, luckily I had installed a keylogger in our PCs to keep an eye on our teenagers. I forgot all about it until one day she asked me to fix her PC, I was getting ready to format the hard drive when I thought, "I should check those logs from the keylogger just to see what the kids have been up to lately" Thats when it was laid out all so clear right in front of me. It was so foreign to me that I had to look at her emails to him over and over again in order for my brain to register what my W was actually saying to another man. I literally couldnt control my body, I couldnt breath and I couldnt stop shaking as I continued to read email after email. If you seek this stuff (and you should), be ready for the totally unexpected, even if you suspect it.

Nine months before all this I received a $700 cell phone bill, it was a direct result of her and the OM but I think after she did such a good job working me over with the whole "we're just friends" thing, I couldnt bring myself to accept the fact that my W was doing such a horrible thing to me and our children.

Looking back, I had to piece many many things together, emails, phone numbers dialed, peculiar behaviors like bring home her lunch she brought to work, runing to the store for unecessary items, unexplainable arguments, and the list goes on.

All I can really say is if you are trying to catch your spouse in A, do whatever you can, take time off work to spy, buy whatever you need to buy, you may think a $400 spy camera is expensive but isnt your M worth $400??? Ask what others are doing and dont just look for the "best" method. I think you have to do everything you possibly can because most wont work for whatever reason but one will and that will be the one that will force the change in your relationship with your spouse.

God Bless...
2LLP

Last edited by 2LLP; 08/24/07 04:47 PM.

BS(me)-41
FWS(wife)-39
D-11
D-13
S-15
Dday-1 10/05/05
Dday-2 06/02/06
Dday-3 07/14/06
Married - 17 years, together 23
My story - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rt=1&PHPSESSID=
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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My OM wasn't very smart, so I called him and told him that WW confessed to me about their relationship, and he started talking about it casually.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
Joined: Aug 2007
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WS's can do a million different thing to be decieptful. You can only do so much to track them but if they intend on doing the ugly deeds they will find a way. They start to lose track of all of their lies and deciept and they will eventually slip up. Snooping consumed me and it affected alot of other things negatively. I got tired of it and came to the realization (I guess denial drives us to want confirmation of something we already know deep down inside) of the affair happening and the best thing I could do was focus on me. Snooping isn't bad unless you're consumed by it.


Me: BS, 29 Her: WS, over 29 M: 9 yrs Kids: 2 D-day #1: 07 May 07 D-day #2: 20 May 07
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,975
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I wasn't checking up on my FWH, but maybe on some level I knew.

For me it was an accidental discovery. I was at home recovering from surgery and was picking up around the house. FWH leaves his stuff and mail everywhere.

I was going thru mail and filing it and found a credit card bill with a charge for a local hotel for a period that I had been out of town. Right below that entry was a charge for a Bed and Breakfast for two nights (that happened to include our anniversary).

After that discovery, when I actually started looking for it, there was so much evidence left out in plain sight that I still almost think he wanted me to know. I checked his laptop and there was a word document drafted to OW that clearly told me who she was. There were dozens of phones calls to her home and cell on the bills that I had been paying and not noticing.

He didn't even bother to deny it, but only ever admitted to what I already had proof of.

I continued to find stuff for months. Each new discovery was like another d-day.

Who


I am the BW,
He is the FWH
D-Day: 12/02/03

Recovered
Joined: Apr 2006
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I put a digital recorder in my stbxw's car.

Not only did I get her discussing the affair with her adulterous best friend, I got her plotting to have me killed by OM.


I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 15
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I would have never found out if I had not contracted an std. Thank God it was cureable. You know after I told him about the std he still wouldn't tell me it took a whole 24 hours for him to come clean. Later I checked his voicemail while he was sleeping and there was a message from her saying sorry for her behavior or whatever she said and that she loved him. I called her back and told her to stop messing with my husband. There were signs way before he got caught but I always believed his excuses. Now thinking back I see how dumb they all really were. Paraih my goodness your xw was something. I just dont get women like that. Selfish and crazy hope your doing ok.


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