Make sure you reassure your kids that adultery is wrong.
I would tell the WW, in front of the kids, in a family meeting, that what she is doing is wrong and setting an immoral example for the kids. I would also add that when she chooses to spend tiem with the OM instead of her family she is hurting all of you and basically saying OM is more important than her own children/family/marriage/husband. Say this is not the sort of thing you want your children exposed to, modeled to them. And then tell her she needs to move out if she chooses the OM over her own family.

I'm not sure if this approach would be fully endorsed here at MB's but I think if done in a calm manner it would not be LB'ing. WW will probably accuse you of 'brain-washing' kids or using them against you but the kids NEED to see you object to WW is doing. Your kids may be getting the wrong message if you continue to allow WW to go off to be with OM several times per week.

I would also consider inviting some family or friends who do NOT endorse her adultery over for this meeting.

BTW, has everyone you exposed to been told that WW is doing this? Do they know that she has been leaving the home several nights per week instead of spending time with her family? What do they say about this? And have any of them told WW what they think of her doing this?

I have a BIG question.

I am away on business, my wife phoned me last night with a question about our kids.(not important)

She also said quite calmly that

" is dosent mean anything has changed about us but i should know that there is no longer another man"
I asked why and she said it was just too much trouble.

My initial thought was euphoria.
But what should i think about this. should i think anything.
How do i go forward.

Is this normal or a real breakthrough.

HELP

it's not a breakthrough. It's most probably a lie.

Orchid: Isn't it amazing how the WS know how little to throw out and they expect to just start questioning ourselves?

Your WS is throwing out a bone. If u r a meat eater, you s/b very disappointed since it s/b a steak not a stripped down slobbered over bone.


Orchid: U R right to question it. Read her statement again. If anyone else spoke that way would you put your life in their hands? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Imagine if it was your doctor....

Dr WS: Mr. JD, I can't promise you a correct diagnosis, since I am too tired to read your test results, I'll just guess at your condition. You might get well or you might die..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Patient: I demand a 2nd opinion. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Dr WS: (yawn...) sure, but here's my $325.00 bill just for my partial diagnosis.

Isn't is easier to see when it isn't involving your personal WS? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Btw, when my then ws babbled like that, I ask (via reverse babble)....

WS: Well, you'll be happy to know I'm not with OW anymore. I still don't love you but thought you need to know.

BS: Oh.... so you've turned gay? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

WS: WHAT?!?!?

BS: Well u r still babbling and if it is true that u r not with the OW, well who knows what u might be!?!?!? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Yea....it really happened. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

L.

jdmelt,

Unfortunately I agree with BigK. Worse, you are going to hear a lot more of that sort of crap.

Just keep Plan A'ing until you reach your time limit and prepare a good Plan B. You will be reluctant to accept that you are going to need it but it is likely that you will.


MW

JD:

It is quite possible that the exposure and just "everyday life" turned the fantasy on its end, and the OM decided it wasn't worth all the hassle. Plus, some men only find the chase interesting, until the reach the goal. That probably doesn't make you feel any better.

Anyways, if she is over with OM but still has a WS mentality, she may try to latch onto another man. So your effort and plan should stay the same, but with any luck you may have a better shot with him gone.

A real spouse who offers real love is better than a fantasy that runs away anyday, and hopefully she will see that.

Well

since my last post i have had it confirmed by a friend of my wifes and indirectly by a friend of the OM that it is all off.
Apparently she was getting fed up with his moaning to see him more and her family less and i was told that the last straw was when he made a verbal attack on me for being away( and thus leaving her with kids).
My wifes friend told me she deffended me they had a argument and she ended it.

There were a few thngs in my house that I new were from OM although wife didnt know that I knew.
This things have dissapeared.
My wifes friend told me she went with her to drop these things and a key off at OM's house.

Now I know she is still cold to me but surely this is a good thing.

Shold my tactics change now.
Is there more i can do to recconect maybe.

All advice or oppinions welcome.

Now is the time to exercise extreme caution. A WS throws out a bone.... r u gonna bite? Not unless u communicate by barking. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

If this were genuine, you wouldn't be shivering.

JMHO,
L.