Hey, Everyone!
I don't post much but I've been reading this site for quite awhile. I am about to be divorced due to my husband's affair and dealing with this has been hard enough. However, my sister in law is in a bad situation and I could really use some good advice to give to her.
She married my soon-to-be ex's youngest brother (there are three boys, my husband being the oldest) several years ago. He has been on drugs since he was 12 years old, mostly pot, but has done other things. At the time they met, both were high school drop outs and living the party life and soon moved in together. She got pregnant, had a baby, then they got married. When she had the baby, she actually matured and grew up while my brother in law did not. They both finally got their GED's, she went to school and became a nursing assistant, and now works for a Doctor's Office.
Today, she has 3 kids, ages 7, 5, and 7 months. He has continued to smoke pot, is an alcoholic, and never has a job. I know she has a plan to leave him, but leaving is hard, especially since she has almost no family support whatsoever (she came from a very dysfunctional home). They live in Oklahoma, and while I was visiting, my other brother-in-law told me that the younger one has been hanging out with a new girlfriend and doing cocaine. However, he would not tell the SIL because he "didn't want to get involved." Which is a completely wimpy, loser excuse!!!
I took my SIL aside and explained the situation to her, advising her not to have sex with him, get herself checked for STD's, and leave ASAP! She said she knew something was up because he has been acting crazier than usual. She knows she needs to get away, but needs advice on how to do it. She does have a job, but doesn't make enough money to afford a lawyer. She has to pay for everything for the kids - food, childcare, transportation, etc. She does get some assistance from the State, since her husband refuses to work.
Also, her husband is mentally unbalanced and scary! She confided in me that, since he never had a job, he used to watch the kids, but one day told her, as she was supposed to leave for work "that he would not watch the kids anymore because he didn't want to, and if she left him alone with the baby, he might hurt him." I know she needs to go, get a restraining order, not allow visitation unless supervised, and find a lawyer who will do pro bono work and make sure he does not hurt her or the kids. This guy has crazy mood swings and is verbally abusive, and I honestly think he might hurt them and/or himself if she leaves him.
Advice, how does she go about this, what are the steps, useful websites, etc.? This is urgent!
